Lived In "sexless Marriage" , Now I'm Divorced And Lonely....not For Him, But Just Lonely

For the last 6 years of my marriage, my ex didn't want to have sex with me, he said, "I'm not interested in that kind of thing" as I told him on our 10th years of marriage, I wanted to rekindle our marriage. I then had a fling....even went out of state for this. Came back home, asked for divorce. He had no problem with it. I lost my condo because of this, because he wouldn't leave, so I left. Anyway, story is not about this.
I really don't want to live my life alone....I still believe in love, companionship, friendship. Right now, I have none of the above. I am trying the dating sites, to no avail....I could write a book on that, or at least a story....LOL, "A hundred cups of coffee.". ..So, others suggested to stay close with friends. Well, just realized I have no really close friends, only my cousin, bless her heart....but she lives really far. She has helped me, by at least texting. Work friends, only are around when one is working. To those whom are married, I suggest to stay connected with your pre-marriage friends. I think this is what happened to me. Everyone previously has gone their own way. Yes, I was lonely before when my husband and I didn't even sleep in the dame bed with me......and still sleeping alone. I am tired of stayin home weekends....when its esp. quiet. I have a few online friends, and I need some more, or at least someone whom understands. My cousin says to find a hobby, but thats not the same. I'm not getting any younger, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I hope all of you are ok, hope to connect with some. Thank you for taking rhe time to read this.
ssuz545 ssuz545
51-55, F
8 Responses Nov 25, 2010

Thank you Hon, you say it all so well, but yes it is hard to do. I know the saying, you have to love yourself first...before anyone else can. I am trying to work on this very much. I am glad you are so happy with your husband and your marriage....treasure it, as I know you do. Thanks<br />

hello ssuz..")<br />
<br />
I feel for you and what you are going through..<br />
but Remember that you are Never alone.. ( spirit is always with you )<br />
We have a tendency as humans to Depend on another person to make us feel complete..or loved. <br />
When in Fact.. we are complete with in ourselfs already..<br />
In all things.... we are tested for our Strength.. <br />
And most of the time.. Its our Patience.. that we need in our lives.. To see the Big Picture..<br />
I know .. its hard.. But the trick is within your mind..<br />
Who are U? If you could see yourself.. within yourself.. You can Manifest a Life.. that is complete with in your Love heart.<br />
When you just " make do"... and dont desire more.. than that is what you will get..<br />
You know the Old saying..." Beautiful things take time?" <br />
Dont go LOOKING for it... Manifest it in your heart.. And LET it COME to you...")<br />
<br />
Believe me.. I let my spirit.. within me..and above me.. Guide me..<br />
It took some patience.. and a different mind set about myself..<br />
But now.. I have been Married.. to a wonderful Man.. for the past 27 years..<br />
we have our good .. and our bad.. but this is life.. And hes part of my Manifested soul..<br />
<br />
I wish you the best.. in life.... and dont forget the most important thing...."LIVE LIFE"<br />
<br />
pageshyy ")

Thank you everyone for your is true, I am not socializing at all. I think I forgot how, but I will start working on it. I love my friends online; there to help and support me.....but will get no where just stayin on computer most of time. Not sure, I probably sound needy sometimes, but not aware of it. Well last guy that broke my heart, I did act very needy, then said I was sorry for it, which probably made it worse, yikes!!! Thank you, Advice well received.

He's out there some place, that man of your dreams..... Do you know what he looks like, what he likes to do, the places he likes to hang out? You need to visualize this guy so that you'll recognize him when both your paths cross. It will happen, believe me!

Keep trying the dating sites and social netwroking sites as they are wonder ways to meet people if you are not a very social person. Also, consider going join a gym. This has several benefits for you: 1. You get to stay healthy and tone your body (which men like and notice) as well as keeping your mind occupied, 2. You may meet women that could end up becoming hangout buddies and close friends, 3. Of course, the possibility to meet men at the gym is always possible. <br />
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Just get out there and do things. Search for activities that men that men frequent and from those activities select an activity that you like. This way you will be surrounded by men. <br />
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It's also important that you don't come off as needy as this can chase men off. Come off as confident and playful. Make these men think about you long after you have left their sight. If you have sex appeal, now is the time to unleash it. Love is a battlefield and you can't show any mercy, do whatever it takes to snag your special someone. <br />
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The important thing is to keep pushing to get yourself out there as much as possible. Setbacks may try and push you back into your shell but you should do the opposite and just push back harder. Tell yourself that I want you want a man and that YOU WILL have a man regardless of what obstacles are in your path. Remember, the only way men are going to know you are available is if you are socializing. If you're not socializing then they don't even know that you exist and are avilable. Hope this helps at least a little.

Thank you so much for your support......I will keep trying, maybe someday...who knows ?

i'm also a lonely woman. i know how you feel. don't give up, keep on your search for the right person. CHEERS!

i'm also a lonely woman. i know how you feel. don't give up, keep on your search for the right person. CHEERS!