...damn It.

...I thought things would get better for me after I became pretty and filled out more, but... that doesn't seem to be the case at all. I'm pretty cute with a nice figure to boot, according to what I've heard. I shouldn't have problem with guys at all, right? Nope. Not at all. Guys rarely work up the courage to talk to me. But they are pretty damn courageous when it comes to talking about me. I mean, hell. I went on this trip for 10 days, and I got more interactions with guys than I did my ENTIRE junior year.
And, to be completely honest, guys scare me. So, I can never work up the guts to talk to a guy I haven't friendzoned. They have to talk to me first, or it's not going to happen. And at this rate... I'm more or less gonna be FOREVER ALONE.
I'm starting to regret puberty, and wasting 15 minutes every day trying to look presentable. Why am I always on two extremes? Guys used to never talk to me because I was ugly, and now they never talk to me because I'm not ugly. I mean, I don't have picky parents. They said "date who you want". But there's practically no one in this town with the guts to ask me on a date. -____-
...But it's okay, on a second thought. If I never get in a relationship, I'll never get married. But... I don't need anyone to start a family. There are other options. I don't think I'll have 10 cats. I think I'll go adopt a kid. I won't go all Miss Havisham on her, though. :)
Or I could just have an arranged marriage.
Fuzzies Fuzzies
61-65, M
Sep 9, 2012