I Dont Want To Be Alone Foever Either...

...and I know its not going to be forever. Because Im not going to let it. Ive had a rocky road all my life. My childhood was the best and not everyone can say that. So already, I know Im blessed. Ive been sad deep down most of my grown life. I found out a lot of my fathers fam dealt with depression. So maybe I inherited it, if thats even possible and it surfaced more as I got older, even more when problems overwhelm me. Out of all the devastating things that has happened in my life believe it or not the worst was my exlover rejecting me. And the only reason I believe its hurting me so bad is because Ive never had my heart broken until now, never! If I were still young Im sure it would hurt but not as much or as long because there would be another young fella standing at my door to make me forget all about my heart ache. But I know this too will pass. I also realize its ok to cry and feel the emotions Im going through for a while. My kids are grown Im all alone, its new for me and its a process. As long as Im not thinking suicidal thoughts or trying to hurt anyone else and eating Ive decided its ok to feel these emotions whether it be sad and I cry, tired and not get out of bed or depressed to the point I feel like cut'n off the world for as long as I need as long as I know these feelings wont last forever. Eventually I have to move on and I will. I believe being able to express my feelings on EP and know somebody is listening/reading/hearing me pour the pain out or my heart its helping me tremendously And I try to give back by encouraging others here...
MsSweetea MsSweetea
51-55, F
2 Responses Dec 9, 2012

My story I think is the worst..I had trouble childhood abused all the time,get married to jerk abuse me and my kids,run a way with them 5 years I did not see them , health issue (pretty bad),boy friend after user break my heart to 1000pieces and I am a lone again I wish I am dead...I don't know how to trust any body any more..I can't i am really scared

This kinda saddens me reminds me of my Mom she kinda abandoned any hope of romance after my dad left

I aplogize I dont wanna make anyone sad or surface any sad memories but this one is the most positve one Ive written and I plan writing more positive ones in the future I havent given up as of yet Thanks for taking out the time to read it!

It's not your fault people tend to look at literature as it relates to them and it's well written I think the main thing it needs is focus like where is it all headed?