i'm not being selfish or something, but i just want my friend back...

recently this best friend of mine just met a new friend online. they happened to be in the same school (and me), and really got along with each other well. at first i thought 'well, getting to know a new friend isn't a bad thing. might as well expand my sociality circle!' but i was terribly wrong.
that particular girl came to our class once in a week perhaps to visit my bff. but the amount of time got bigger and bigger. she practically visits us every single day and pulls my bff away from me.

i just can't stand it and felt so lonely that every time i had to walk alone to the hall for assembly while the two of them were happily chatting about relationships and stuff and ignoring my presence. not only that, my bff has also gotten further and further away from me since that girl appeared. the three of us were added in this whatsapp group which wasn't really active. but nowadays i get a lot of spams from that group because of the both of them exchanging love confessions. i felt really grossed out and at the same time, betrayed. i don't know who else somewhere out there in this world has also the same experience as me, but why i can really say is that i feel you.

i got really hurt but dare not tell my bff as i seriously do not want to lose her even as an acquaintance. although its a bit awkward between us nowadays, i tried many times to force out a smile to hint her that I'm alright and that she's free to hang out with her new friend. honestly, deep down inside that was totally the opposite of what i meant to say to her, but i don't want to ruin her friendship just because of my selfishness. I'm really losing hope of maintaining this fragile friendship. should i just give up or should i not?
yunisaurus yunisaurus
16-17, F
1 Response Aug 22, 2014

Ok so it's probably too late to answer... but I want to try in case it's not too late. I've gone through something similar. The difference was that I introduced mine. My childhood friend and my new best friend. I was jealous because my childhood friend was taking my best friend from me. I was being selfish though, and I was happy that my best friend had a new friend. She was so used to being alone, and it was good for her to be social. Then she got a boyfriend. again I was jealous... but I was happy she was happy. That was the most important thing.
What changed was that my best friend started hanging out with my childhood friend so much I never saw her. Usually I was invited, but lately I haven't.

I felt bad for feeling jealous. I didn't feel I had a right to tell them because I was just being selfish. But the situation just keeps getting worse until it tears me apart. I ended up telling my best friend. She feels it's because of me that things are so good for her now so she doesn't want to lose me... but I haven't heard from her in 2-3 weeks, so I'm just waiting to see if they notice.

I've been told that i need to avoid them for awhile (they won't notice anyway) hang out with other people. Don't ignore them, just don't go out of your way to be with them.

I know it's hard to find friends (especially in high school), but if they fade away without realizing you weren't there, then they weren't worth the worry. I think you just need to take that person's advice, and I hope that if you start to feel worse, you can talk to me, because I think I understand.