It's Time to Make a Decision.
For so long in my life I've been living in a strange depressive state or lived in a life that I didn't and don't want to live. It's either been, "Great, I have to get up again and spend another day in this corpse", or, "Ugh. Another day." Today I experienced something which I haven't experienced in SO long. I felt happiness. Real happiness. Real no-strings-attached happiness. It was so amazing and it made me realise that I'm not meant to die yet. That there is a better life out there for me. I don't know. It's hope, I suppose. Hope is nice. I know that there is something out there that I can live which won't just be an continual existence of , "What's the point?"
I've been waiting around too long. I've seen that there is hope from this... this hell. This is my hell. I need out. I have got 10 years, and then I'm leaving the country. I've got two years left in -this- hole before I can sprint to a university. Then I can do my degree and then my post-grad stuff and THEN I will be free. Free from the curse that is this country. I know I am privilidged. Belive me - I know! I would gladly give so much away, if I could get it to where it needed to be without extreme opposition by my parents. Heh. I've stopped calling them my 'step-parents'. I think I'm at about level 5 or 6 (Rogers' stages of process, if you want a little reading).
Eh, go me! I need to thank someone.