I Don't Want to Undo All That I Have Lost So Far...

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Posted by DorothyofOz

41-45 year old woman
1021 experience groups and 273 stories

This past month has been rough - emotionally, mentally and now physically.  Many of my friends on here know that I have lost 50lbs in the last year...  But since my husband asked for a LAST chance, I have started getting "hungrier" and "hungrier" - last summer, I was so numb and shutdown, that I did the opposite of what I usually do - instead of emotionally eating, I could not eat at all.  Everything tasted like cardboard, and I couldn't even stand the sight of food; I would only eat enough to not get sick.

Now, it seems that I am not as bad off emotionally as I was last summer, but still highly stressed emotionally and mentally with these "new" circumstances - and the new confusion and sense of being overwhelmed and at a loss of what I should do - what I want to do.  I want to eat and eat and eat - and nothing seems to be what I have a hunger for - DUH!!

That is just stressing me out MORE - which you can see can begin a downward spiral in the fight against weight gain.  I was feeling so good about myself - so good about my body - hopeful that I would finally weigh a healthy, attractive weight - and now I KNOW I am gaining weight - I know it - and it is depressing me something awful and making me feel "dumpy" and heavy and less-sexy!!

Am I just not meant to be successful - to make my weight goal - I am SOOOOOO close!  I was weighing less than I have weighed in over 15 years!!  I was feeling good and looking GOOD!  So, something is going to have to change because I DO NOT WANT TO BE FAT ANYMORE!

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2 Comments (add your own)

  1. Anonymous

    Posted by bcj on Jun 21st, 2009 at 12:28AM

    lady d

    i am following your "fat stories"

    firstly, let me say that no solution works for everyone.

    the essence is about energy and balance. if you burn more calories than you consume, then you will reduce.

    now that was the easy party. the tough stuff is the emotional/habit/brain chemistry.

    when i stopped smoking more than 20 years ago, i simply filled smoking time with something else to do. also, i would light the cigarette and unconsciously let it burn out in the ash tray. but the biggest help was to remove myself from the circle of smokers for a while.

    In 2003 i weighed 97 kg. by 2004 i was down to 92 kg. now my weight ranges from 87 - 92kg and i shall reduce to around 80 in the next 2 years.

    i found that my weight was higher when i had a family because i would eat at set times and as much as was served so as not to offend. Now i eat when i want to and as little as i need to. sometimes i would eat half an english cucumber as a meal - just about 0 calories.

    my problem is that i am not exercising. sometimes I walk to the shop for a bread, but that is about all exercise that i do and i know that it is too little. in 1992 i ran my last 21 km half marathon. in 1999 i ran 6km relay. and since then, nothing. i would start by walking when i do start

    the important thing is that your programme must be achievable and you must enjoy it.

    a personal trainer and dietician/sport nutritionist could be a massive help.

    hope this helps

    love and peace

    b

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  2. Anonymous

    Posted by truthhurts on Jun 21st, 2009 at 4:10PM

    no matter what you look like, what you weigh or how other people see you all that matters is that you see yourself for the beautiful person you are, everyone is beautiful in some way its not our physical attributes that make us beautiful or sexy its our confidence and personality that shine through every time, do your self a favour, buy some new lingerie for nobody but yourself, put them on, look in the mirror ad say i am a beautiful person, inside and out just like everyone else, you need to train your mind before you can make your body do anything. every woman is beautiful they just need to see it them selves before anyone else can x

    Rate (Up | Down) 1 | Flag

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cardboard | circumstances | confusion | downward spiral | duh | gaining weight