Hate The Person I Am Since Husbands Affair

i don want to me any more, not the me i am since his affair i used to be confident and felt good about me, since my attempted suicide due to the affair and the following verbal and physical abuse i am now self loathing insecure nervous and doubt myself i hate me my body and everything about me, i dont want to be this me i want the old me back but i hae lost all my ability to get a grip and get back to me it all feels hopelss, pathetic i know as this is so not the real me

browneyedgirl1965 browneyedgirl1965
41-45, F
2 Responses Jan 11, 2010

Hey! Like the last comment made...this is true...you KNOCK yourself when if you could think and focus straight you will see that it's NOT YOU it's your husband.<br />
I wish you STRENGTH and when you pull yourself back up off the ground you will do whatever is right for you,whatever that is.<br />
You mentioned you were never like this before so does that mean all was Gr8 with your marriage before the affair,did he also never hit you before this either..........................<br />
I don't want to get onto me but i could write a book about my 20yr relationship that i Thank God i'm out of now and can now sleep Peacefully at night(you name it i had it and i hated myself too)there's always a light at the tunnel Hunni,please pm or private msge me if you like!!!!<br />
}}}}}}}}}}BigHug{{{{{{{{{ esp4u. -))

Hi. This how we usually feel after our partner has had an affair. In reality we know that is'nt the truth. But the hurt at that time make's our thinking all wrong. We beat ourselve's up: It's our fault that they had the affair, we are ugly, don't like the way we look physically etc... Then we ask ourselve's these question's: What made him do it? Is she better looking then me? What did I do wrong? This list can go on. None of this is true. It's his fault. He knew he was married & did'nt take his vow's seriously. If he made a mistake & you think the marriage is worth saving, try to get therapy for both you. But don't ever beat yourself up. Alot time's in life thing's happen that we don't want to happen (like me losing my fiance' to cancer 6 week's ago) a day after my birthday. You can get past this. I will never be able to say anything else to my fiance'. If you & him are still together & you love him, try to work it out. I wish you all the luck.