Just Not Maternal

I'm always meticulously careful when Vlad and I have sex, and will rush to the doctors to get the morning-after pill if there is even the slightest chance that the condom may have slipped.  Neither Vlad, nor I especially want me to have children.


I have been told (to my face) that I'm very selfish for thinking this.  To my knowledge, my reproductive system is very healthy and so I could bear children.  I've been told that I should be grateful for this, as so many women want children and yet cannot have them.


However, even if I did have a maternal bone in my body and actually desired children, neither Vlad nor I are in any sort of position to have them.  I'm a university student and live in student accommodation and Vlad's job isn't well-paid enough to support a family.  I think people who argue that it's a women's 'duty' to have children if they are physically able really need to think through the facts.

Ryuuzaki Ryuuzaki
22-25, F
8 Responses Feb 11, 2009

People in other countries would be glad to have our table scraps, but we aren't bad people because we don't take the time and effort to ship them overseas. You are right to feel how you do. Be glad you are healthy, and not guilty because some ignorant breeder told you that you should be. In fact, I may use the table scraps argument next time someone decides to tell me I should be procreating. Cheers!

the world is overpopulated. period. <br />
it's selfish to bring as many children as you can into the world when there are already plenty of orphans etc.

I've never heard that song, but I know your pain. A lot of people seem to believe that having a family is the be all and end all in life...

My fiance and I are in the same position -- we don't want kids, but moreover even if we did are in no position to have them now. And the most annoying part is that I know that I might achieve great things with my life (well... I want to try, anyway), but no matter what I do I won't be as valued in my family as those who popped out grandkids.<br />
Have you ever heard "Pregnant Women are Smug" by Garfunkel and Oates? It's amazing. :)

See, I agree. I think that you should only have children if you a) Want them and b) are in a financial and social position where you can bring them up. It's always sad to hear about children who grow up unwanted, or in poor conditions...

People are so baby crazy nowadays that it's becoming insane. You're smart enough to know that you need a secure life before bring a kid into this world and also aware enough to know if you'd make a good parent or not. So many people rush out to have a ton of kids for all the wrong reasons. They should take time to really think about it like you have.

As I said, I totally agree. I can't believe that there are still people in this world that would argue otherwise.

Agreed with CP Aguy