Don't Want Kids, And A Question

I don't want kids.  I don't have a maternal bone in me... for people.  When everyone else is cooing over the baby in the room, I'm just not interested.  However, I am VERY maternal when it comes to animals.  I'm 27 and hope to be able to have a house by the time I'm 30 (my fiance and I rent now), and when I do I want a ton of cats and dogs.  Maybe a bunny.  Who knows!  But no kids.  And the older I get the harder it gets, because people just don't understand -- they can't envision that maybe, just maybe, what worked for them in their lives isn't for me.  My family expects me to reproduce.  Shouldn't they just be happy as long as I'm living a life I love?  I'm not going to live my life the way others want me to.

Just venting some frustration (I feel like I have a lot of it lately)... I do have a question for the group, though.  I'm currently on the pill (generic Orthocyclen), and I like it, but thinking about taking it for the next 25 years or so makes me a little dizzy.  I'm considering a more permanent option, but I know doctors often resist giving patients without children those options.  Any advice?  I just don't want to have to worry about it anymore.

NYCgirl6 NYCgirl6
31-35, F
3 Responses Dec 28, 2009

That's exactly the sort of thing I want -- put it in, no worries for five years. I guess it wouldn't hurt to bring it up to my gynecologist.<br />
I love your method of getting around family's questions. :) The sad thing is, though, I'm almost certain my family would press for details, or then start a ramble about other options (in vitro fertilization, surrogates, adoption, etc.).

I have kids and love them, but having kids because someone else thinks you should is a huge no no... Kids need parents who love them, but also have the instincts and will to see them to adulthood... I am a foster parent and have seen first hand the damage that is done to kids because their parents just werent equipped to deal with parenthood... Bless you for knowing your limits..<br />
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How about something like Norplant, or something that you dont have to do every day (I also took the depo provera shots in my 30s with good result).... Most doctors would counsel you against a permanent step until your 35 or so, by then pregnancies become higher risk and if a woman is still saying they dont want kids, they are more likely to listen...<br />
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I do have a way for you to get family off your back, its a bit underhanded but works... The next time they bring it up, shake your head, sniffle a bit and say that youve been told that kids are just not in the cards for you... then say that you just cant talk about it because its too painful... most people will back off unless they are those creepy people who get off on hearing gory details of medical issues..

stick to what is true for you! you know what best for number one :)