End Of A Relationship At 61
After 15 years living with a woman I have come to the conclusion that the relationship is over and I now live with an unfeeling stranger in my home. Not something that came on suddenly but has been a growing realization for the past 3 - 4 years. Many things coming to a head for me I guess. Company I work for is slowly going under (private school for troubled teens) and going to 2/3rd work schedule with 2/3rd pay. Looking at taking early retirement from Social Security this coming November as I reach 62 and not really knowing where my life is going but feeling depressed at being alone. I have few friends as I have been working 2 jobs for 25 years and have not had much outside activity except with my "companion" for all that time. Health (relatively minor) have cropped up the past year or 2 and combined with the change in relationship (she still lives here for now at least) have left me depressed at looking at the next 25 or years without companionship of a caring, loving person. I am by nature a very physical person in that I love to touch and be touched. Cuddly, caress etc. Not necessarily in a sexual manner but just companionable closeness. Something that has been missing for some time and is making me very depressed as I realize how much I miss it. Life changes coming make me very uncertain of life's direction and the lack of meaningful companionship leaves me in a very uncertain state which is not usual for me at all and makes me very concerned about growing old alone.