End Of A Relationship At 61

After 15 years living with a woman I have come to the conclusion that the relationship is over and I now live with an unfeeling stranger in my home. Not something that came on suddenly but has been a growing realization for the past 3 - 4 years. Many things coming to a head for me I guess. Company I work for is slowly going under (private school for troubled teens) and going to 2/3rd work schedule with 2/3rd pay. Looking at taking early retirement from Social Security this coming November as I reach 62 and not really knowing where my life is going but feeling depressed at being alone. I have few friends as I have been working 2 jobs for 25 years and have not had much outside activity except with my "companion" for all that time. Health (relatively minor) have cropped up the past year or 2 and combined with the change in relationship (she still lives here for now at least) have left me depressed at looking at the next 25 or years without companionship of a caring, loving person. I am by nature a very physical person in that I love to touch and be touched. Cuddly, caress etc. Not necessarily in a sexual manner but just companionable closeness. Something that has been missing for some time and is making me very depressed as I realize how much I miss it. Life changes coming make me very uncertain of life's direction and the lack of meaningful companionship leaves me in a very uncertain state which is not usual for me at all and makes me very concerned about growing old alone.

seigar seigar
61-65, M
2 Responses Dec 21, 2009

I am pretty much living my own life now..... Got together with a new female friend yesterday and often head out without looking back. Getting more involved with groups and started up with my photography again. Things look pretty good a year later.

It is not easy I know, but you will come out of your dark tunnel in time. I am 56 years old and in June 2008 I found myself alone after 36 years married. I was scared, very scared. I was forced to face myself, my defects, my strengths and it was not easy. Today I am at peace with life and with myself. I love myself very much. Yes, I have found myself again (ok some would say a bit late in life lol) but nonetheless I have re-discovered myself. I do not think of the past (I let it go) nor do I concentrate too much on the future, but I live in the present. I simply try and enjoy every single hour I am given. Life is too short. It has or was not easy for me, but well worth it in the end. Last Christmas I even did voluntary work and I thoroughly enjoyed it and met some wonderful people from all different cultures and upbringings and some very heartrending stories too. Life is good, but it is down to each individual what choices are made......Be good to yourself....thinking of you.....