I Don't Want To Have Sex. Ever.

       I'm 23 years old and I've never had sex. The truth is, I've never even wanted to. Sometimes I feel like a freak because no one I know thinks this way. I figured it was get better with time and as I formed relationships with people, I'd feel closer to them and then the sexual urges would just come later. A while ago, i had a few brief encounters with some men (yes, I do know I like men) It never really got beyond some "touching" from both sides. Although it was pleasurable, I knew I didn't really want to continue that kind of stuff. Something about it just felt wrong. I dont' mean uncomfortable. I mean wrong. Embarassed about the way I feel, I just act like I wanted the relationship to continue on a romantic level, for all intents and purposes, I fabricate feelings that I don't have and tell any inquirers what I think a normal response would be. Recently, however, I told my best friend how I feel. She didn't seem too fazed but seemed more to feel sorry for me. Why she should feel sorry for me, I can't imagine. It's not like I'm wanting for something I just can't have. I'm just NOT wanting for something that most people want. I've felt for a long time (since about 15 years old) that I don't want to be married or have any children. I do have my own ways of getting pleasure and I'm more than ok with that, just as I am more than happy not to have a male companion. (BFF cannot understand this, as she wants a SO and kids more than anything else in the world right now.) I came on this sight looking for people who feel the same way I do. I don't want people to feel sorry for me or tell me that's it's just a phase becasue I know in my heart that it is not. I'd just like someone to say "Hey, I know what you're going throught because I've been there." I need to know if there are other people out there, so I know I'm not alone. Thanks. 
deanmartinforever88 deanmartinforever88
26-30, F
3 Responses Feb 22, 2012

You are probably like me, asexual. I found this out when I found AVEN. I'm very similar to you.

You are probably asexual. There is nothing 'wrong' with you. Look it up on wikipedia and the website 'Aven'. It could bring some enlightenment for you, and there's a message board on Aven too where you can talk about this with other asexuals (no need and no interest in sex )

Hey, I know what you're going through! <br />
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I'm a 22 year old female, and I've felt this way for many years now, too. I do feel some level of attraction toward men, though, and it's a bit difficult to explain. It's like craving for a connection deeper than friendship, just not sexual. I'm content to live without it, though; I certainly don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. Idk, lol.<br />
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I faced the same sort of reactions from the people I've told. My BFF thought that I was joking, as the family life is something that she's always dreamed of, and my mother seems to think this is some sort of phase. They can't quite grasp that physical intimacy is something that I want no part in. Ever.<br />
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Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. If we're freaks for being this way, so be it. :)

Thanks so much! It's nice that someone gets what I'm talking about. I've got many personality quirks that make me feel like a freak, but this is one of the wierdest. I guess I'm just gonna have to let mah freak flag fly, baby! :)