It really does help to understand why. I think most people really inherently good. We just make bad choices or have moments when we really are not good. Something just hits us where it hurts and we react. We hurt back. Sometimes that is the only defense. Was the person I hurt the one who hurt me? Maybe – maybe not... but I exerted power in a situation and I feel better, empowered.

I used to be so angry and, to be honest, hurtful. I still have the anger but I also have learned self control, usually (hopefully when it most counts). Even when someone willfully hurts me and really deserves to be thrashed... To me, it is preferable to be hurt and angry with them as the focus, rather than having to live with myself having hurt them back.

The pain I can cause is never justified. That isn't who I want to be. I am still me, hurting and angry, but it's okay. I love me anyway. If I just acted out every negative impulse I had, without even trying to be better, I know I wouldn't still be able to say that.
deleted deleted
Aug 18, 2014