How Do U Live Everyday Knowing That If U Die No One Would Notice

before i came to this country i had everything i could ever have
a broken family
college
work
and a new love

i left everything for the new love and came here
its been two years and all i have is

memories about the use and abuse that my husband put me trhu then threw me like garbage
an exhausting job
a fight for my green card
and my broken family couldn't care less (they care more about making fun of my weight)
if i die no one would miss me and maybe only the people from work would notice when i don't show up

no family, no friends, no husband, just pure pain
every day i wake up and i cry i cry in the way to work
i put myself together for a couple of hours and then i cry in the way back home and i finally cry myself to sleep

i wanna give up

but then i think about a future without pain and makes me doubt 

 by idontwannagetup
idontwannagetup idontwannagetup
22-25
1 Response Jul 26, 2010

I'm sorry to hear that your going thru such a difficult time. I am also from another country so I can relate to the loneliness and emptiness your currently feeling. I wish I could cry like girls do so that I can ease the pain somehow but that doesn't work. I get severely depressed and I am so afraid of such feeling. I dropped out of grad school and am currently unemployeed. I don't want to do anything anymore. I am only alive because I don't want to make my parent's life a living hell. I lost my faith but I am somehow trying to hold on to it. Maybe going to church might help you deal with the misery your going thru. I'll pray for you.