I'm Too Young To Be Feeling This Way,

At 15 i took on a relationship I thought i could handle. He was so kind and so Protective, we spent Most of our time together, he took me out and showed me affection & i fell in love with him. I found out shortly he was lying about his age, name, & location. i had been with him for several months, he had actually lived with the mother to his daughter, i know, i was dumb, i decided to forgive him Because at that point, i had never felt so in-love with someone in my life! he eventually left her and moved in with me and my mother, i got my first job at 16 and i was pregnant by time we were a year in. he is ten years older than i am so we lied to everyone about his age, and he told his family i was older.( i didn't want him to get in trouble) we had our son, & continued to live together with my mother,
he began to Get temper mental, and It started when i brought my son home to the hospital, he Choked me up against the window while i was holding my newborn. I had never felt so offended and Betrayed. i was scared for my baby. i eventually put it in my head that it was because we were under alot of stress from a newborn child, we began to argue a lot and the fights kept getting worse. I finally went back to work, & he had lost his job. i started to noticed every time we got into an argument he was getting kindove violet. But i ignored it and figured i was pushing him to it. my mom got really sick and began to treat me better, Cook for me, clean, take care of the baby every day while i was at work. and we got closer, and since then we have been pretty good. recently after i turned 18 i got a car and license, and our own apartment because my mother had to be placed in a nursing home. he has been pretty good to me, still taking care of our son and cooking/ cleaning. but he still tends to get over angered when we argue, lately he has been hanging out with his friends untill 2 in the morning, and i feel like were not as close, i have been talking to someone i met at work and i feel horrible but i also feel like im under so much pressure and Stress, paying all the bills and raising a family off of an income from a grocery store, im am in school as well, and i feel like out of all i am doing to support my family hes not doing enough. he recently got a job and he is treating me like i havent been ****.! i am 19 years old working my *** off, and i deserve to be treated fairly. everyone tells me i need to leave him. but i cant take my sons father away. he loves him, and i cant break his little heart. :/ & i really love being a family and having him around, but i am still young and attractive and im running out of options. Im stuck in reality, and im so confused and hurt and i dont want to see my son hurting becuse of my decisions. Im lost.
MsCourtney MsCourtney
18-21, F
May 5, 2012