Hopefully A Lastime

Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years, and we already have been through a lot. I know some people will tell me that I'm to young to think about being with someone for the rest of my life, but I honestly don't care. He's been the only guy I could trust anything with, and be myself around. He joins in my childish ways and we can act like idiots with each other. He is one of my best friends before we even started dating. But lately whenever we have a conversation I'm quick to have an attitude or something smart to say. And I feel like I'm pushing him away. He's done things that hurt me that he really does regret and tries to make up for it, and I thought I moved passed it. But it feels like I'm using those things against him- and it really hurts him. He's cried to me and asking me why did I forgive him, because he believes he doesn't deserve to be with me. But I ask him what he wants me to do then and he tells me that he never wants to lose me. And I feel the same way about him. I want to move past those things and try to move on with our lives, those things happened last summer- but there's small things that still pop up to remind me of those times. Then instantly I have memories that I don't want fill my head and I guess the only way I let it out is by hurting him by bringing those times up. I just want to stop holding a grudge against him and not to think back to the old ways between me and him.
topaz112793 topaz112793
18-21, F
Aug 15, 2012