Torn...

Hes an amazing person. I can't put into words how much I appreciate just having him part of my life. His effortlessly positive viewpoint of life is contagious. The way he cares so deeply for his friends. The way he listens with no judgement. He just understands me. Sometimes I think he even understands me more than I do myself. Just hearing his voice seems to clear my head. For a while, when I had some pretty dark days, his laugh was enough to mend me. His late night phone calls and his timeless advice mean more to me than he will ever know. Hes an exceptional human being, and I say that with no delusion as I know him. I know his mistakes and his shortcomings just as he knows mine.

I've known him since we were kids. Whilst we had periods of not seeing or speaking to each other, just through busy lives, I've always been intrigued by him as a person. I'm now stuck in an impossible position. My best friend of many years is head over heels for him. While I know hes not as crazy about her he is still attracted to her. Hes drawn to her. They're not in a relationship, although they had a chat about thier feelings. He seems to think they're just friends, while she believes there is a future for them some way down the line. The whole time I've smiled. I've said all the right supportive things. I've tried my hardest not to allow my feelings to affect how I view both of them. I genuinely love them both so much. I value these people. They mean the world to me. But I can't help feeling the sinking feeling in my gut, knowing that I cannot express any of this. Everything would change. I would not only hurt my best friend and ruin our friendship beyond repair, I also run the risk of losing the guy I rely on so much. The guy that makes it all better. I physically or mentally could not take the rejection. Its neverending. Should cut contact with him? Should I ignore his phone-calls? Should I be honest with them?