Caught Up In Love

ive been dating my boyfriend for 6 months next week. he was seriously the best thing that ever happned to me. he used to tell me the sweetest things ever. i smiled every second i was with him. yeah we fought but it never led to a break up. he used to get scared if i even said the word. his world revolved around me and making sure i was happy every second. i was kinda rude to him sometimes. but i fixed that. he loved me and everyone could see it. we were happy. until about a month ago...
his friend passed away and they used to do drugs together. my bf was clean for 4 months [so i thought]. sadly i learned he never stopped drugs. and that he want to do them wether i liked it or not. we broke up twice because of it, but we always got back together. i can not live without him. it kinda scares me. he used to cry and stuff when i broke up with him, now i was the one begging. he hasnt gotten me a rose in over 2 months. a date is no were in the near future. all he wants to do is have sex. im sick of it. but the part that scares me the most is his drug and drinking problem. it really scares me more than anyone can imagin.
i feel like im loosing the only person i will ever love. i miss the late night calls and the tlaking about our future. i miss his hugs and smiles. i miss the dates and the cute suprises he used to do. i miss my old boyfriend. the one that i knew loved me. no questions asked. i dont know what to do to solve thi. i cry everynight praying to god that my bf will see what hes doing...
skwurrl457 skwurrl457
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 21, 2007

Don't forget that the most important person is YOU...don't lose you in this. Sadly your boyfriend has not been honest with long as he is an active addict that will always come first and you second no matter what he tells you pay attention to his actions. You have every right to step back, for now, and ask that he get help. If he can't chose honesty and self care can he really, truly be able to love you in a healthy way long term. I don't mean to sound harsh here...truly I don't I just hate to see you so soley focused on him and not taking the very best care of yourself first and foremost.

I am so sorry. I hope everything works out! My ex boyfriend did so many drugs, including heroin. I just couldn't be with him though - watching him slowly kill himself. Anyway, I really do hope it works out!