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I Don't Want to Lose Him

I Have 4 Months

By: SpeakNoFeeling
Written on March 18th, 2010

I have four months until I lose him forever, and I don't want to. The reality is that I will be leaving the country, and I have no choice. It's a student exchange. I wasn't expecting to meet anybody like him, not in this country, not in my life, ever. We are only friends but I can say with certainty that I do love him. In the past, I've only dated a few times, and I've only felt deeply for one other person, but this compares to nothing I have ever felt before for anybody. They say that falling head over heels in love isn't beautiful, it's a mess, it's a disaster - and 'they' are so right. I'm a mess. What's bad is that I'm sure it's unrequited, but I can handle that. I love him so much that I don't care if he loves me back. As long as I can still be friends with him, still be around him. But even that humble wish is going to be taken away from me. And I only have four months.

By: SpeakNoFeeling
Age: 18-21 , Female
327 people have read this story

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4 responses
  • lionstone
    lionstone

    You are right. Keeping in touch while very far away is keeping the pain alive I am sure you will find someone near to love and enjoy your life. Keep it up!

    Mar 30, 2010
    1 like
  • SpeakNoFeeling
    SpeakNoFeeling

    Thank you for your comments, they are really appreciated ^.^

    Thanks for the advice fungirl... I'm going to try to push my feelings out of my mind and focus on being a good friend. As for the skype, I'm really not good at keeping in contact with people via electronic mediums... I'm not exactly sure why, since I'm part of the younger generation. It's not the same by a mile. Just exchanging words with him is nothing like physically being around him...

    Mar 19, 2010
    1 like
  • fungirlmmm
    fungirlmmm

    First of all congratulations on your new love. It is a miraculous feeling but it makes it so much better when those feelings are mutual. I know that it is easier said than done but if you are certain he only wants to be friends then you have to accept that. Life is too short to be stuck in a relationship with a man that does not love and cherish you. There are so many men out there and if this one doesn't love you then there will certainly be one that does some day. Enjoy your crush for the next four months and live every moment of it to the fullest and make great memories. On a practical point however if you are still friends when you leave the country why can't you both get SKYPE. You just have to have access to high speed internet and a headset. If you both have SKYPE it is free to talk back and forth. Good luck no matter what happens with your crush and thanks for sharing your story.

    Mar 18, 2010
    1 like
  • niphysio
    niphysio

    hi...

    my BF went to another country for his study but we are very much in contact and also very much in love... u two could probably work that way..

    Mar 18, 2010
    1 like