I have four months until I lose him forever, and I don't want to. The reality is that I will be leaving the country, and I have no choice. It's a student exchange. I wasn't expecting to meet anybody like him, not in this country, not in my life, ever. We are only friends but I can say with certainty that I do love him. In the past, I've only dated a few times, and I've only felt deeply for one other person, but this compares to nothing I have ever felt before for anybody. They say that falling head over heels in love isn't beautiful, it's a mess, it's a disaster - and 'they' are so right. I'm a mess. What's bad is that I'm sure it's unrequited, but I can handle that. I love him so much that I don't care if he loves me back. As long as I can still be friends with him, still be around him. But even that humble wish is going to be taken away from me. And I only have four months.