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Jun 5th, 2008
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s many of you know I have cancer and the chemo, well....I’m losing my hair because of it.....I know it will grow back but it still bothers me a lot. I have cried many tears over it lately and then was told that it’s OK….hair isn’t everything and I would be loved no matter what but will I?? I mean look around you, so many women with a full head of hair why would someone give me a first look, much less a second, when it’s all gone?? I feel as if I am losing a part of my identity, I feel ugly because of it. I feel like this cancer has control over everything right now, from the way I feel, meaning sick and tired all the time, to now the way I look. I try so hard to not get down and let the cancer win but it’s tough. People close to me say “your beautiful no matter what” but when their heads are turned by someone with a head full of beautiful hair am I not supposed to be hurt by it. I am only human, it hurts…..
I do wonder though from the men here……How important is a woman’s hair to you in her overall appearance/attractiveness?? In the real world if you seen a woman with no hair either by choice or sickness would you or could you find her attractive??
For the women here……How important do you consider your hair as part of the overall you?? Let’s say for whatever reason you lost it all would that make you feel less attractive??
Update........I faced this fear today as I let my friend shave my head, this last treatment made it start coming out even faster so....it was time to take control from the chemo. I was very sad and even cried. But, on a positive note I am now halfway through my treatments. Whether or not I am beautiful without hair remains to be seen by me but I am still alive and fighting, I guess that's the most important thing after all....
UPDATE........After the attention this story got today from the cruel remarks (which have been removed and the person has been kicked off EP) I realized this story needed updating since people were reading it again. Just to let everyone that reads this know I am cancer free as of October and as of today June 15, my hair is only a few inches shy of what it was before. I did make it through being bald.....it was tough at first but with so much support I was able to just go on and not let it get to me. I wore my scarves and hats with pride. People didn't treat me any different. Most that saw me struck up conversations with me and would tell me of how their life had been affected by cancer. I will never again take having hair for granted but at the same time.....I realize that it's not the most important part and people out there can and do look deeper. Sure some may not but there are plenty that do.....So thank you all for all the reading of this story and the comments that have been posted thus far. I am amazed at the support I received on here. Thank you all.....
Update...Seems I need to update all these stories about my battle with cancer again so... Unfortunately the cancer returned and I am fighting yet again...but I am fighting and don't you worry....I will win the battle again...thank you all for your continued support...
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  | Posted Jun 5th, 2008 at 10:22AM Oh Sweetie, I have been where you are. I too cried many tears. I felt like part of me vanished with the hair. I had 2-3 days like this. Then I went on about life. I had a cute wig, which I wore when I needed to look "professional". I had tons of cute hats and scarves and cooridinated my clothes to make the hat I wanted to wear on a given day. I know this is difficult...I know. I know all the "it will grow back', "it isn't who you are" and those things don't mean much right now. Let yourself feel the sadness of this and I think it will help you move on and accept this stage of your life and your treatment. Is it possible to shave your head into a sheak stlye? There was a girl in chemo while I was that was so cute with her short, shaved, spikes....just a thought. I am here for you anytime...I remember the fear and the sadness that I felt when I touched my head and got a handful of hair in it. I know it doesn't seem like it but it will get better...(((Hugs)))   |
 | Posted Jun 5th, 2008 at 10:26AM I thought I could handle it but when it happens it is a different story isn't it. Thank you for understanding CMR. |
 | Posted Jun 5th, 2008 at 10:27AM You are attractive with or without hair kylie....hair doesnt make a person who they are and i never go for looks i always go for whats on the inside..thats the important stuff to me...i love you kylie |
| Posted Jun 5th, 2008 at 10:33AM yeah, until someone else with long pretty hair turns your head. Face it given the opportunity to look at someone bald or someone with hair, men will go for the hair. Who wants to look at a woman bald....right, scrapper?? |
| Posted Jun 5th, 2008 at 10:35AM No not right at all....hair means nothing kylie you are a beautiful woman inside and out....noone turns my head but you |
 | Posted Jun 5th, 2008 at 10:58AM defently could find her sexy still. Its not the hair, its the aura she presence. I have seen some women that are intentionally bald and I think it can be very sexy. It gives you a rough girl look...lol. you are beautiful with or without the hair. I can imagine it is a hit to the self asteem, but don't let it win. Keep your head up high! You are beautiful inside and that shines through so all can see it. |
| Posted Jun 5th, 2008 at 11:02AM Thank you JJ, maybe in time I can own it but right now it's just another reminder. Rick, thank you for that you are a wonderful friend. |
 | Posted Jun 5th, 2008 at 11:03AM Wow I don't even know what to say except for Im sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what that feels like. I have seen your pics on scrappers page and I think your gorgeous. I would have to agree with CMR's advice. Maybe some cute scarves or wigs? |
| Posted Jun 5th, 2008 at 11:04AM thank you partytested....that's cool that you said they can be sexy as well, not many men go so far as to say that. |
| Posted Jun 5th, 2008 at 11:08AM Thank you ElleMeza for your honesty, I feel like everyone just thinks I am on a pity party. Truth be told I think every woman would feel the same as I do and as you said. |
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