Emotional Affair With My First Love

He called in July 2009-he got my number from my dad.  He was my "first" , ooo how I loved him....but I was 14 and he was 16.  Our relationship was only several months because I had to move.  He was in Ohio and I was in California....we kept in contact for a while but as young love goes...I think....I continued on with my life partying and dating..... well he was more focused and went on to get his education and is successful today...He is also married with a 6 year old daughter....He told me he has been looking for me for years....IDK.....my last name has changed because of a marriage, but have been divorced for 15 years.....So anyways he calls my dad leaves his number....I call 3 days later...we catch up...then that night he txts me and we have been txts and he has been calling ever since.....at first it was fun and exciting made me feel young and attractive - but now my feelings are just getting hurt.......he sent me money to come see him...I have made the reservation....but I just think sitting and waiting for him in a hotel room will just be I will regret...........

myheartmelts myheartmelts
41-45, F
3 Responses Nov 14, 2009

Love2day - I had the exact same experience, started in August 2010 when my ex found me online. It was hot and heavy for about two months before he cooled off and said his wife suspected he was cheating. He had told me he had always loved me and the biggest mistake of his life was letting me go. Funny how it is so easy for him to let me go again. If you weren't enough for him years ago, you will never be enough. Lesson learned!

My first called my mother for my number this summer and we continued an emotional love affair for the past 6 months., even though we both have long time marraiges. At the time he was 1000 miles away from me and his family. It was very emotional and I still think I will always love him, and I think he feels the same, but when he went home at Christmas he ended up staying because of a back injury. He stopped all communication with me, and it has been so hurtful. He said that he thought his wife found call records, the last time we talked before going home. Neither of us had said that we would leave our spouses, but I so much wanted to see him again, but maybe it was for the best that we didn't. It may have hurt even more than it does now, because he would still not have been mine. Years of marriage and a family are alot to give up, and I can't blame him for that. I would probably have chosen to do the same. I just wish he would have given me a good by. I have called and texted a couple of time, but nothing. I guess I am just suppose to get it that we're over. I'm glad that we didn't have sex, because I know I would be even more messed up than I am now. I know for me it was really difficult living a double life, without even talking to the people around me about what I was feelings. Only you can decide if its worth the risk. Wishing you happiness with or without him. One of my poems says that we might be together when our lives have been arranged and I hold on to that. Who knows what life will bring us.

I'm not sure what the purpose of your meeting serves but whatever happens, do not have sex with him. <br />
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I have been in an emotional affair with my ex for five years. Fours of those years for him and two of those for me consists of both of us having our separate relationships.<br />
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He is getting married to his girlfriend of four years and I am still "very much" involved with my boyfriend. Before the proposal, he will tell me he loved me. He wanted to be with me instead of her. Blah, Blah, Blah. But the one thing I always paid attention to was the fact that he stayed in his relationship with her. Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words. <br />
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Bottom line, for all these years, he had been trying to have sex with me. However, I refused. He will try kissing me and holding my hand, and I refused. As much as I loved him, I refused to hurt my boyfriend in that manner. Anyway, finally the month before the proposal, he tried once again to have sex. Once again, I refused. Well, that was it. He got so angry and told me he was going to propose to her. I wished him the best and asked him to leave. <br />
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He thought he was so smart, blaming me for the proposal. What he didn't know was that his sister told me already that he had bought the ring weeks before. I finally realized that he was just using me to fulfill whatever he lacked in his relationship. <br />
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If a man has a family but still desires you, then he should fulfill his commitment to them first before staring anything new. In my case, if my first love truly loved me, he wouldn't have stayed with his girlfriend. In your case, if your first love wants to be with you, he needs to figure out his home-life first before starting anything new with you. Otherwise, you will get hurt in the future because he will not be able to choose you over his family.