I Am Left With No Other Option...

I am doing some experience writing before I make my E.P. departure. This fits.

I don't want you to go, or I should say: I don't want you to want me to go. We have been down this road before, and it ended well. I want you to miss me, and want me back, again. Will you? Who knows. God, I hope so.

Things said and done have been tough. Mistakes, and leaps. Assumptions and instincts. Love and distance. Close but so far. You have no clue how I feel. I can't show you. Now, because you won't let me, and before because I refused to show you. In this moment, I write as you sleep. I should be upstairs next to you, spending some last moments with you...but here I am.

I wish there was some magic words or something. I am not that clever, I guess. Last time when I went back to SC, you missed me in an instant...will you do that again? Will you wonder where I am or what I am doing? Will you miss my scent or that way I patted/slapped your ***...god I love your ***. Last time it was within 24 hours...yeah.

So, off I go. Back into hell and not knowing where to go, or what to do. Just knowing that I love you, and can't even imagine not having you in my life. Why...why...why...noooooo! ****.

I have only loved two women in my 28 years on this planet, and you are most certainly one of them. I think we can be and or are awesome together. When it is good, it is really good. When it is bad, it is ****** up. Pardon the ramble. Words mean nothing, or mine don't mean anything...just audibles that can be ignored and not absorbed.

We say we love each other, we are enough for each other...yet after some bad choices made by me, you have made your own. I respect that. Hate it and hope it changes, but respect it. For however long it is, even if it is forever...I will miss you and love you. Feel the same and tell me to come home...please? I hope it is in time...if at all. Damn ellipses! Words are as meaningless as ever.

Nothing else matters. No one else. I am what you wanted, and you are what I want.

I have had the best day of my life and worst in the last three weeks. Wow.

 

EricS EricS
36-40, M
4 Responses Mar 8, 2009

I do miss you......

Thank you, Bassy. <br />
<br />
Meg...*sigh*

Your emotional ex<x>pression comes through crystal clear Eric......let's see where time takes us and leads us.

I want so badly for things to work out for you Eric. I feel for you man.<br />
BASS