Why My Husband Did"nt Help Me In Walmart"!

The other day my Husband and I went to Walmart just to keep cool.... I like to go look at my things that I like and he goes and looks at the thing he likes... Well this guy comes up to me and grabs my hand and starts "stroking" my hair! In the mean time my husband was right in back of me while this was all taking place and he did "Nothing". This guy then gives my husband his phone number and he gives it too me.... After a while I said we gotta go and this guy said maybe I"ll see you on the way out! So we were leaving and low and behold this guy followed us too our car. Once I got into the car this guy gave me a "Hug" it wasnot just a friendly hug it was a very tight hug and again stroking my haie etc... Well once this *** left my husband yelled at me called me every name in the book and did"nt want to come home after work he said to me "Let your Boyfriend take you"!  He hurt me so much. He said I should of done something not him after all he could of had a knief or a gun etc... Still to this day and it"s only a week he won"t go back to "Walmart". Am I wrong for feeling like this? I really thing he should of stopped it right grom the start. "Please let me know because I feel like I am loosing my mind!  Hope to hear from anyone ASAP  Thanks    Anto815
Anto815 Anto815
46-50, F
11 Responses Jul 13, 2010

Hi Newsday dog, Thankyou for taking the time to read my story. It really means alot to me. Thankyou also for your comment. I really liked the way you said it. Im sorry it has taken so long in writting back. Thanks again.....

Your husband is a complete wussy! <br />
All he had to do was look the fool in the eye and say "Get your freaking hands off her! NOW!" The fool would have departed in a hurry.<br />
No, your sleazebag hubby blames you. What kind of crap is that?<br />
You have my sympathy!<br />
Is it too late to trade him in?

I am sorry it has taken me so long in writing back i really wish i had because than i could of done something more to stop his crap nit its never to late so please message me so we may talk more please thanks your an angel...

Thankyou all for your kind words. It means so much. I'm sorry it has taking the time out in reading my story. I'm sorry it has taking me so long in writting back. Thanks again and have a good day.

Anto - we have to learn (since I know we have similar circumstances at home) that we can not count or rely on our husbands for support, encouragement let alone, protection. So, we have to learn to do it ourselves - find support from within and through friends (in real life and on here!), to encourage ourselves and fortify ourselves emotionally AND to protect ourselves even in physical situations. <br />
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IF (and I hope not!) this ever happens to you again and you are in a public place - first, "Excuse me, but I don't know you - you need to stop touching me!" If that does not do it (and you need to say it FIRMLY and LOUDLY - maybe getting the attention of other shoppers that DO have a backbone and care about other human beings - unlike your husband!) - You need to start YELLING for him to stop touching you - a public place such as Wal-mart - you will have all the help you need - I bet!<br />
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I know that I have been paralyzed by fear and even uncomfortable situations, so I think the suggestion above to practice it is GREAT - it will feel awkward BUT I bet it will come to you easier if you have done it!<br />
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I try to think through scenarios from time-to-time so that I can go through what I would want to do in those situations - doesn't always help but it does sometimes!!<br />
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I'm sorry you had to endure that - both the stranger and the careless, spineless, cold husband!

Thankyou all for all your kind words. Thankyou also for reading my story. Im sorry it's taking so long to write back. Thanks again and have a good day.

Itchywitch82 ~ I imagined she was shocked so much it "paralyzed" her. That has happened to me in several circumstances. I find I have to practice my reactions sometimes....and I would NEVER expect a stranger to approach me and fondle me in a public place; especially in front of my spouse. Certainly this guy is a CREEPY LOONIE!

It sounds to me that your husband truly thought you knew that guy and thought you were cheating on him and that's why he did nothing. That still doesn't excuse his behavior. He should have done something other than stand there. I hope you have explained the situation to him since then. <br />
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Not to sound rude or anything, but when that guy started stroking your hair and treating you as if he knew you very well, didn't you walk away from him or tell him to go away or leave you alone or something? I understand that you were expecting your husband to help you out (which he should have done) but it's also up to you to help yourself out. What if something like that happens when you are alone? What would you do then? I am by no means blaming this on you at all, I am just saying that getting away from that guy as soon as possible and making sure he knew you were not interested, regardless of what your husband was doing, should have been your first priority. The very moment that started to happen, getting away from him should have been your number one concern. If you are alone and do nothing when someone starts making those kinds of advances, absolutely anything could happen to you because of it. It could have even escalated to rape had you been alone.

I am sorry this happened to you. Yes, your husband should have intervened. He should have not have just stood by and let some creepster touch and stroke his wife. However, if hubby is not going to intervene then you must protect yourself. If this ever happens again tell the guy to get off you...don't be afraid to use physical force and push the ****** off if you have to.

You are not crazy!<br />
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Part of a husband's job is to protect his wife. He clearly failed to do so and took his guilt out on you.<br />
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However; in the future PLEASE assert yourself if need be! You should NEVER let ANYONE touch you when you do not want to be touched. <br />
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Practice saying, "Don't touch me." Say it firmly. Say it with a serious ex<x>pression. Practice stepping back away as you say it. Look in the mirror while you practice. <br />
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This Loonie Guy may be at Wal-Mart again. If you run into him again I would even file a report with the police to ensure there is a paper trail. That way if he bothers you, stalks you, whatever; the police will see the history of his actions.<br />
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You have every right to decide who can or can not touch your body; and how you are touched, even by your husband; but MOST ESPECIALLY STRANGERS!!!!<br />
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It is sad that your husband "fell down on the job" and allowed the to transpire right before him. I do appreciate so much when my husband is my shield. However; he is not always my shield and he is not always with me. I have to stand up for myself, too.<br />
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Blessings and courage for the future ~

HI Vidamo I would love to add you! You are the only one that had anything to say I thought I was "Crazy" Please keep in touch your comment made me feel better, Anto815

I feel with you.<br />
No one should be exposed to the humiliation that you have gone through.<br />
First of all...That loonie at Walmart , and then the complete and so outta space reaction from your husband. Why in heavens name couldn`t he just say: Please forgive me for my behaviour? Is it so hard to see the wonderful woman he once said: I do to?...<br />
You did nothing wrong here,beleave me. If you like to...please add me.