He's Amazing, But...

it took me so long to become the confident young woman I am today, and I'm having so much trouble letting go of that.

In the last year and a half, I've had to learn to cope with things on my own and as they come. People would say they were there for me, and they'd call me at 2AM crying...I never felt comfortable doing that to them, and the one time I tried I got shot down.

Now I hold things back and it all just builds up. I can go two or three months before I break down, alone in my room on my bed, and just CRY and cry and cry. And then I'm okay.

And now there's a boy, who, "even if things don't work out for us, [he'll] always be there for [me]." And he doesn't want me to "ever have to do anything alone again. Ever." I want so badly to tell him that I trust him, and I love him (not in love), but my ability to cope on my own and feel like a strong woman is something I'm really having trouble letting go of...or maybe I should say I don't let people in, emotionally, very often anymore. I don't talk about my issues anymore, I don't go crying to people when I need help like I did to him five years ago (and he was the only one who could ALWAYS help, now that I think about it...amazing how time changes some things and not others).

I need him to understand and be patient and know that I'm always okay, I'll always be fine...but for now I need to get to that point on my own.

If I could only explain it to him like I explained it here...

smileforthecamera smileforthecamera
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 6, 2009

Believe me u can for 2 reasons<br />
1st That I understood what ur trying to say which is a good thing<br />
2nd people who r always there for us r the most people that understand us specially as u said that he saw u now and b4 it takes time to change like it took u b4 and I'm sure he will get that <br />
best of luck TC