You Will Never Know...

how much you hurt me. I won't let you. I ended the relationship because I couldn't take the disappointments, the let downs, the selfishness...but it still hurts.

You meant so much to me...we were friends first and now I don't have that anymore. As a friend, you were fun, caring, a joy to be around. As more, you weren't...you showed your true side, the way you really are.

I never asked you for more than you could give me...I never wanted more. I was perfectly content with what I could get, but you made promises you chose not to keep. Did I ask for the promises? No...I did not. The only thing I asked for was to spend as much time as you were able to with me...key words "as you were able".

So now I sit here, sad and suffering...missing you, yet knowing I did the right thing. Isn't it funny how so many things in this world have two sides..."I miss you but leaving was the right thing to do"..."I like you but I don't want to be around you"..."I hate you, but please don't go"..."good job, now try harder"...there are so many more...

You will never know how much you made me cry...how sad you made me feel...I will never give you that satisfaction.

purpleriz purpleriz
51-55, F
3 Responses Mar 23, 2009

No, it's a real break...I'm not angry, just sad...

It sounds so very sad. My heart goes out to you.<br />
<br />
Are you sure that you are able to just "walk away"? <br />
<br />
I guess I'm asking are you just angry or is this a real break?

I am feeling your pain. I am in the same situation. I recently left a relationship where I wasn't appreciated, wasn't a priority and where promises were broken. I applaud you for never letting them see you break down. Knowing that something is the right thing to do doesn't make it any easier and it DEFINITELY doesn't make it hurt any less. Stay strong, cry your head off, yell and scream when you're alone, but never let them know how much they've hurt you. As time passes you'll be able to look back on this terrible time and be proud of how you handled it and yourself. It feels like it will never stop hurting, but I've been assured that it will. Hang in there, and never let them know you're hurting.