Impending

breakdowns always seem inevitable for me. i work towards strength, independance, and peace, but i invariably end up wringing my hands on a cold bathroom floor, mascara-stained tears pooling on the tiles.

hidden behind cheap plywood doors, i have suffered many a breakdown, of spirit, of hope, of my self. i have screamed in emotional pain, i have cut my skin in an effort to relieve the pain, i have taken pills to dull it.

my breakdowns have been fewer as my life has been clearer. i have been healthier, i have felt whole even, at times.

which is why i fear the breakdown even more. it's impending, i'm sure. all that i can hope for is that you aren't there when it happens.

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26-30
1 Response Mar 24, 2009

Waterproof mascara totally works. There's some good ones out there. Bathroom floors are germy places. I'd stick to being perched atop the can-especially if they've got one of those cushion toilet seat covers. Those are nice. Also sometimes I use toilet paper to sop up the tears and flush the paper in case someone is wondering about my time spent in the loo. <br />
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But no really, I can most certainly empathize with the discomfort of someone else seeing the wall drop. Trust is an important issue in any relationship and even then it's difficult to access the respect in a relationship and show someone one's vulnerability. Tango is right though a shared vulnerability shown between two who trust and respect each other will ultimately bring the two of you closer together. <br />
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Try to keep positive too! Have faith in your sanity=) Stress happens, but so do coping skills. Maybe that's what life is supposed to be for everyone-no one really blares through life full speed in perfection-they just have ways of dealing with the obstacles.