Can Wait to Sleep So I Can See Him...

I can't wait for sleep to take over my body so ican see his face and here his sweet loveing voice... Most nights my dreams are the same but that also depends on my day.

If i've had a bad day full of worry I'll wake up in a screaming  crying sweat of a mess, screaming out his name frantic until i have become calm again. These dreams are the worse i cant turn over and see his sweet face or feel him next to me. I cant call his phone to have him tell me it was just a dream. All i can do for those is try to fall asleep again and pray that my dream doesn't become real.

On my peaceful relaxing days i can wake up with a smile. I might miss him after my dream but it was a good one and i know in a few short months i can be in his arms laughing and joking all over again.

But no matter what kind of dream as long as i can see his face hear his voice i know hes still there. i dread the night i have a dream where i see me laying him to rest i dread the night i see him looking up at me motionless. i pray ever night that no matter what kind of dream i can see him and hear him.

I fall asleep replaying days spent together in my head. Its like it's happening all over again. Like hes next to me on the sofa acting a fool. Or he has his arms wrapped around me as i fall asleep tangled with his body lol. But my worst dreams are the ones i replay of us saying goodbye. him walking away and me feeling like i'll never see him again. but no matter what its just a dream. And I'll keep dreaming of him till im back in his arms knowing hes safe and untouched of any harm. So till that day I'll dream of my sailor every night soking in his voice and never forgeting a detail about his loving face, smoking body, or forever mind blowing voice.

browneyegirl89 browneyegirl89
18-21, F
8 Responses Mar 16, 2009

you may not have a mother to by for but you have a mother in spirit! get her some great flowers say a prayer for her. There are always signs of her around.<br />
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For katelyn i know shes around when i see a blue butterfly her fav. thing to watch fly by.

A hole wher someone should be.......<br />
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I know that feeling too well.<br />
In the UK, it's going to be Mothering Sunday this weekend.<br />
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Advertising on TV, pressure from Internet sites; buy your mother a really great gift.....<br />
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I don't HAVE a mother to buy anything for.

my lil girl i babysat, lived with, and took care of often got in a car accident. She was in the front seat with out a seat belt. She broke her neck being tossed around and died on the spot. This little girl was my life. She was like a daughter to me i lived with her and her sister and mother. Her mother was one of my best friends. The last time i saw her a week before i promised her I'd be over and take her on the lake. i never got to do that. It like theirs a hole left where she should be. My husband is extremely understanding on the subject. When i went meet him in VA and i started having my nitemares he held me all nite while i cried and told me she was ok and look down on us. I'm not the best christian but i did go to church but since that happened i cant bring my self to step foot back in the church all i see is her face pale not moveing dis colored from bruses its scary and i freak. <br />
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Losing some one is horrible and will stays with i whish it would get easier though

I don't know what your awful experience was, but it obviously affects you deeply.<br />
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I replay certain things in my head and the details are so sharp, it's like a knife.<br />
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My close friend committed suicide four years ago. I still think about that day, that my husband spoke to him shortly before he did it......

it hurts tons! and it hurt even more when my little sister has them and i can't do anything but cry with her.I thought that as time went by it would go back to normal Oct 26 has been long and gone but the day replays in my head over and over like it was yesterday.

It hurts, doesn't it?

so true..... When i dream of katelynn (5 year old i was with from birth, have sotrys on her) it takes day for me to recover. And the bad thing is the farther i get from my home the worst they are. If I'm home i have ok dreams of her, But when i went to VA it was nightmares, at jarids moms i wake up with the sweats. But any dream wakes me with crys or beggs for her to stay.

The worst dreams are when they concern someone who's dead.<br />
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I dream of my Mum, who died five years ago.<br />
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It really hurts to wake up and remember that she isn't here and never can be.