Me

I lost my father suddenly about 1 year ago. He was a loving man and our memories are filled with the stuff of movie depicted happy times. My father was strong and came from a place and time where survival was getting by. He never bought a drunk a dring, but could drink and be merry in the most positive ways. As I do, my father believed that although we are not religious there is more to our short passing through the wonderful elements that make up the earth than what we see. Something more powerful than myself allowed my existence so I deduce that this life is part of a larger eternal progression.
When my father died it crushed me. We were very close and he was not yet 60. A few days after I was talking to a friend of mine and he told me to pay attention to my dreams. At the time of that conversation i was not in the mood for hippi bs being forced upon me given that it seemed inapprpriately unreasonable and furthmore I was reeling with the death of my favorite human being at a young age.
That night I drank some whiskey in memory of my dad, and forgot the conversation with my friend, and went to bed. I had a dream, a very lucid dream, and this is it.
I was standing In a very dark house, one that I did not recognize but was comfortable in it and familiar with. Everything was made of dark brown wood. I began to get the feeling that there was house party going on. There was mello music that at times faded to silence. As I walked around I saw many friends and family members I knew and cared about, living and dead, further adding to my being comfortable. In the kitchen I came across my father facing away from me at some wooden cabinetry, he was holding a stone. My father loved rocks and finding them himself. He turned around and looked at me like it was any other day of our lives and asked me if I wanted to see something. I said yes with intrigue. He walked over to the island in the center of the kitchen as all the other people and their presences faded away. My father held up a giant geode that was about 12 inches in diameter, 4 inches thick and ground flat and smooth on both sides. He asked if I wanted to hold it, I said yes and he handed it to me. The first thing I realized is how heavy it was. Then I turned it over and gazed into the flat smooth side of the stone. It was a geode, but one that had a swirling galaxy in it. I just stared at it amazed at its beauty for an emesurable amount of time. Then he said its beautiful isn't it. And I said yes it is. Then he said so you understand. And I said yes. And that was it.
Now I don't know what the influence from my friend as to paying attention to my dreams was. I do know our brains are very complex and a scientific explanation is most certainly possible. But I do also know that that was the closest I've felt to that human being and a feeling of peace since his departure and that that dream felt like an explanation that things are big and complicated and beautiful and we don't know ****.
Iamyounow Iamyounow
26-30, M
Sep 9, 2012