When I Was A Child

I remember at around the age of 6 or 7, during certain times when I was feeling low (our normal cycles) I would cry myself to sleep, asking god that I wake up with the right parts that would make me a girl. Today I still have my cycles and feelings of depression (normal life cycles) (Dee often counts the days, when we get to around 28 she knows to give me extra hugs), But when they occur I just make sure I do extra girly things, like a bubble bath, spa at home days, or go out and buy a pretty dress. Of course just being able to live in express my life as a girl sometimes is enough to ward off the pink blues.
JoanieNewHampshire JoanieNewHampshire
61-65, T
4 Responses Aug 28, 2013

Pretty much every night I go to sleep dreaming of being a natural born women, with a slender waist, stylish hair, nice medium sized breasts and loving and accepting friends and family

I thought at that age I was the only one who got the" two sides to me ". It was and is SO confusing!

It's really only confusing

Sameboat because society expects men to act in a specific way with little to no exception, your desires one one side are acceptable behaviors for men the other side is not. You see every human male or female had an inner sense of themselves. If that sense of self differs from social expectations, and you are not a non conformist or don't mind pushing social constraints alone, you are condemned for the side of yourself that just wants to be you. This causing you to question your legitimacy.

Only lately has anyone(my Wife) accepted my other side.A shrink I was going to ,for a totally different reason, picked up on it right away.She wanted to do some tests on me and came up with this andro- thingy .She said I was personality wise both male and female.
Well I suppose that answered a bunch of my questions about myself.IE pantie wearing ,crying at movies or books ,enjoying the company of women over men and so on....
Still as you say social norms and all I am a guy,but when my she wants attention WOW she (I) can make waves!

P.S.
When I say only my wife accepts my other side,this does not include the wonderful people here on E.P.
I meant people on this side of the screen!

1 More Response

Joanie i hope you get all you want out of this life

Thank you! I'm doing pretty well with all that I have. Any thing else is just more excessories! Lol

The more depressed I get........or maybe it's when I start to get depressed, that's
when pink becomes my color.......but I've ALWAYS loved lavender, so I guess I've
ALWAYS had a bit of girly in me, and I LIKE IT

We are the bois that have more girl in us then boy, It's such a shame that society can't except effeminate males as, as productive as those women are really just tomboys at heart.