...but Somehow, I Managed to Stay Home Tonight.

My drinking is social.  I live alone in a cave of an apartment, am relatively new to this town and have no close friends here.  I have managed to meet a few people at the local musician/artist hangout, and have found a few like-minded people I can talk to.  I'm not the most outgoing person, either, which makes it difficult.  Beer certainly helps in that respect.  It's a crutch.  A reason to be there.  It also eases social anxiety. 

When I'm around my close friends, beer is a different thing altogether.  It's still a reason to be there and something to hold onto, but, it's an experience.  I love trying beers I've never heard of from all over the world.  How did I get stuck on beer?  I also enjoy wines of all kinds.  And various mixed drinks.

That's the good part.  The problem is, I do it too much.  Life's a drag a lot of the time, and that's how I deal with it.  Sad.



alobar alobar
36-40, M
2 Responses May 21, 2007

sound like you could have a drinking problem ...<br />
I grew up surrounded by people with those problems ,My mom eventually went Aa and its also a place where you can meet other people that want to have social lifes without alchohol..<br />
i hope I am notvoffending you here ..<br />
I am also an ala non member ,and that program has given me a new life ..

Life certainly can be a drag at times. The problem with alcohol is that the more you turn to it to numb the pain, or to hide behind, the more pain it creates and the worse the everyday problems become and so we drink more, and it goes around and around in an ever downwards spiral.<br />
I try hard not to drink every day but its hard to break the habit. For me its lonliness that makes me drink... problem is, it also makes me retreat more into myself coz i dont like the drunk me... neither do my friends and family.<br />
so its a vicious circle. <br />
one day i hope to meet someone who fills that gap in a positive way. Then i can throw the cork screw away.