Comfortably Numb

When I drink…

If I’m careful, I can lose myself in the spinning. In the weightlessness of unconscious. I can float, away from everything. Forget for a while.

It’s a fine line. To not let the disconnect allow me to think about the things that I don’t want to think about. To not drink to excess. Not chase oblivion too hard.  Just enjoy the moment. Stare at nothing, think of nothing. Thinking does no good.



onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow
31-35, F
8 Responses Jul 27, 2010

Tekk (and Tas) - I wish I could be the opposite of apathetic. But then, I was just that way for so long. I finally got tired of the futility of it all. Live with it or get out. ('s all black and white. : ) I guess I'm living with it at the moment. But for now, yeah. Just a break. He was home, so the kids were fine. Never without that. They're first. Their safety is first. <br />
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Scooby - I think I could listen to 30 minutes a day of just this song. : )

Yeah, what tek said ..

Come on, <br />
I hear you're feeling down.<br />
Well, I can ease your pain<br />
Get you on your feet again<br />
<br />
One of my favorite guitar solos. I say 30 minutes of Steve Miller a day would make the world a cooler place. Maybe thirty minutes of Gilmour would do the trick too.

This really applies to me. The moment it wasn't social or fun but to get away, that was a yellow light. It wasn't a problem but it could grow into one. I used to drink guys bigger than me under the table and find a way to get them all home, pick them up off the floor, no hangovers, no fuzzy head. But still, you know...I worried about things when it came to having a family, being at home, I don't know. Finding a right balance was hard.<br />
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Years later from our crazy social drinking and fun, I was sitting in the garage annoyed, tired of thinking, just tired. So I sat there with one little glass. Instead of drinking it down, I threw it and I should have thrown him out. It wasn't until years later that the thought ran through my head to actually throw him out and not let him back in unless he got his act straight and we set some mutual boundaries. Not a fairy tale but what's best for the family, the kids...meh...I don't know where I am going with this. I can't stand apathy so I've gone the other way with not numbing anything. That's just me. And I tend to lean towards being insane sometimes so anyone should take what I say with a grain of salt...also...I I guess I stumbled to finding what was right with me and what I was going to just drown out.<br />
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I will say though, as long as you aren't running away from things and it's just a break, I say do it. Keep yourself in check and make sure it doesn't get out of hand or shut everything out without handling situations. A temporary break is a temporary break. As long as your heads in the game, you're fine.

Exactly, FF! You guys can stage an intervention if I do this every night. But as it is...I think I'm ok. As far as clarity? Meh. Haven't found that yet. But at least I didn't uselessly obsess last night!!

I completely agree with you. Sometimes we just need to NOT think, and just be. Also sometimes we get more clarity after not thinking about something for a while and revisiting later.

ShadowofDoubt - This morning? I'm left with a fuzzy head. : )<br />
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Boogie - Yes. And I don't drink more than a glass very often. Illusions can be nice occasionally. Like making my own magic show...problems are gone - just like that. Today, I'm back to reality. Back to everything I wanted to forget. And it will be ok, because I had a teensy bit of respite.

what happens when it wears off? what are u left with....