Ever since I dropped out of college I've struggled to do anything with my life. I also have anxiety which makes it incredibly difficult to get a job, and recently the stress of it all landed me with depression.

Three or four times a week, for about the past year and a half, I'll drink until I'm completely wasted. Then I'll drink again at the weekend with friends.
Either I'm bored and lonely, or I just want to be able to socialise, go outside and get myself going, even though I know it doesn't work.
Even as I'm getting money, walking out the door and buying the alcohol, there's a voice in my head telling me it's a bad idea to do this again and I completely ignore it.

I've proved to myself, more than enough times, that drinking isn't a solution to my problems. It's just hard to break the cycle.
18-21, F
May 21, 2012