With A Once Bright Future

I cannot begin to tell u how common our stories sound. I was just like you. A brilliant student in high school with top grades but somehow I'm a college drop out too. Not one university but three just like u. My laptop and the Internet are my only outlet. Just like you, my mother scolds me and blames me for everything wrong. We were good studentsso I guess our mothers expected us to be good our whole life. If we were failures in school, they wouldn't have been this disappointed with us. I don't know what to say to u to make u feel better cause I'm as lost as u are. As much in shambles. Its made me suicidal. I have given up on life. Seeing how people my age are getting jobs, studying further, making a life for themselves and I am nothing but a drop out with no future. People say you can always start over but what do they know. It's not so easy when you have no one to support you, and have faith in you. This world is a horrible place. I hope you find your way. Best of luck

I read this and just had to reply because you have a kindred spirit in me.

I've gone through pretty much everything you wrote about. I used to be brilliant in high school too, but now I'm shamefully hiding all my fails and cruddy grades from my friends (who still think I'm doing oh-so-well). All of them have started their Masters degrees as lawyers, doctors and environmental managers...whilst I'm here, even more lost than I was back then.

I, too, went through 3 different universities and changed my major almost 4 times. Last year, I filled out a form and wrote an essay to get a leave of absence for a year, but then, I changed my mind at the last minute. I decided it was better to power through and get it over with. There were so many times I thought about just walking away from it all, so many times when I ended up under my table sobbing. Well, here I am, less than a month away from graduation. I ended up hating my major, so, I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do once I get that ridiculous piece of paper. However, I can now walk away from academia and forge another, hopefully, less soul-crushing path to find my passion, whatever it is.

There is always hope. Always. I'm not advocating that forcing yourself through more tortuous years is the only way to get the life you want, but if you want to try again, try again, but this time really ask yourself why you're doing it. Try to find some sort of deeper purpose to drive you. If you can't find that purpose, maybe take some time away from the academic world and let your mother know that what you need is her support, not her anger. Perhaps she's scared for you too and just doesn't know how to express it.

I truly, honestly, believe that you will find your way soon. Just don't give up hope! The world is still open to you. :)

Friend, it doesn't matter. You are doing your best and that's enough. We're only human. One day you'll be able to just sit down and relax, and let life sort itself out.
And I don't believe what people post on facebook, it's just a facade. If something has to be showcased and proved all the time, it is probably untrue.