I Feel Like I Don't Belong Here

After graduating from the Fine Arts High School and the best years of my life, I had a long summer to enjoy.
I have been decided of my college choice ever since I was in middle school. I wanted to be a veterinarian. I wanted to help animals and humanity.
So, I graduate and pick up my diplomas and head to my future, huge and bright college building I assumed I was going to spend the next 6 years of my life in.
In my country, if you get good grades on your final exams (I guess these are called SATs in the USA) you can get a free spot in college. I didn't do well on my history exam so my final grade was average, but I still applied.
After waiting almost one month for the lists of the admitted students, I was on the other list..with the ones that have to pay for a college spot. I was dissapointed, but I still wanted to study there so I decided I would pay. Later on, I got a call telling me a few free spots were available because some students gave them up and I could have one because I was on the queue. I think it's obvious I was really happy about it and I accepted.
So months have passed, and summer was the best thing ever! I could relax and get rid of all that stress I went trough with the final exams and applying for college.
And here we are, on my first day of college. Everything was so interesting, I had so many classmates and the campus is huge! As soon I started the classes I thought this will be great. Even if I always had issues with chemistry and physics, I came here. I have no idea what was in my mind. And soon enough I realised I was going to fail. Big time.
I had days and days when I was just feeling horrible, like there was something making me sick, like I was heartbroken because I hated this place. I tried talking with my mom about this and she told me to keep trying. But I couldn't. So I was just attening the classes without even caring about anything at all. I just went there to avoid dissapointing my mother.
There were nights where I would fall asleep crying, thinking about the mistake I've made coming here. I just couldn't go on.
So today I called my mother and talked about this really seriously. And she told me I shouldn't be afraid of dissapointing her, or anyone else, it's my life and if dropping off and start something from my web design passion will make me happy, then so be it. I seriously felt relieved and started crying like crazy. I am decided. I will drop off next week and I will have no regrets about it. I will be happy and I will not care of who will consider me a fool for making this decision. The risk is worth taking if it's something you love to do.
I will take this web design course, I will graduate and have that diploma that will be recognized worldwide, and I will build myself a career where I will be my own leader.
xtheartist xtheartist
Jan 22, 2013