i eat because i am bored. because i don't have a boyfriend/husband. i eat because the man i wanted to marry just married another. in my head i am telling myself that he didn't pick me cause i am fat. it seems easier to accept that than to admit that i just wasn't good enough for him. i just want to eat everything i avoided to be a size 10 or 12 when i was with him. now i just want to eat, and i am a size 14. if i don't watch it, i'll be a 16 before the new year. but i have no willpower. i feel so hopeless. i feel bloated. tired. lonely. fat. pathetic. weak. sad. poisoned. stupid.