I Know Why

i eat because i am bored. because i don't have a boyfriend/husband. i eat because the man i wanted to marry just married another. in my head i am telling myself that he didn't pick me cause i am fat. it seems easier to accept that than to admit that i just wasn't good enough for him. i just want to eat everything i avoided to be a size 10 or 12 when i was with him. now i just want to eat, and i am a size 14. if i don't watch it, i'll be a 16 before the new year. but i have no willpower. i feel so hopeless. i feel bloated. tired. lonely. fat. pathetic. weak. sad. poisoned. stupid.
OldLoser OldLoser
4 Responses Dec 10, 2008

I eat and feel more loved

And that's a very good thing!

I eat because i dont feel loved, You are not alone, i eat because i am unhappy and I am unhappy because i eat

thanks so much, and a big hug back to you. it's a hard holiday season without him. i will get through this....i have no choice. i guess i can deal with the extra weight later....

I understand, Hon. I am sorry you hurt. Please don't be so hard on yourself, it's not fair to you. There is a time to grieve and then there is a time to heal. Allow yourself the time for both. Wishing you peace.