I have reported to this strange hospital for urodynamic tests. "Matron" takes me into a huge high-cielinged room. I am to change into a cotton gown behind the curtain.The gown opens at the back; she ties the tapes. Sit here. The doctor takes forever to arrive. Meantime I wait getting cold. There has been some celebration during his lunch - I can smell the gin on his breath. He passes a catheter. He will fill my bladder from a jug, and I am to tell him when I am full. He is filling, and I am not feeling full but my bladder is distending. I ask how I will know I am completely full, as I do not have much sensation. - Oh, he replies, you will just burst! Joke or serious? I tell him that in that case I am now full, thank you. I am to empty my bladder into the bucket, and the volume and flow rate etc will be monitored. He tells me they have success with the sheath and bag by deleting the long tube and just keeping the bag in the bed like a hot water bottle. I am to try this and he writes a prescription. But that's another story!