It Is Easier to Forgive An Enemy Than a Friend

In September 2004 I started a new job as a teacher at a college. I saw quite a few familiar faces of people who attended the University I graduated from.  One of them became my best friend. We usually went to after work limes together, we took a holiday trip together, we even played in a carnival band together.  She had a positive influence on me and its bcos of her I bought my first car. She was always trying to 'set me up' wid some 'well to do guy' which was just about the only annoying thing in our relationship.  Anyway about a year after we became close, I met this guy who is presently my boyfriend.  She didn't approve at all bcos she thought he hadn't broken off his last rel'p.  Although this was a genuine concern she turned out to be wrong.  She still didn't approve of him. On one occasion she wanted me to go to a football game wid her but i already made plans wid him, so I told her that I wld be staying home.  She found out afterward that I lied and even though I apologised, from then on the friendship just went spiraling downward.  She began saying bad things about me behind my back, she told other staff members about the lying incident.  She vented to students etc and I really felt hurt bcos everything that was said kept coming back to me from another mutual friend of ours.  What was even more hurtful was that she convinced me we were all good with each other even after she secretly told this person that she wanted to destroy me!  By Xmas 2006 I was really fed up my bf felt I shouldn't even try to be her friend anymore bcos she was jus crying me down.  So 2 days b4 xmas I made a decision to x her out.  I told her I knew evrything she said. Of course she denied most of it saying when people get angry they say lots of things and she doesn't recall what I'm accusing her of...now we just share basic greetings wid each other.  She told our mutual friend that I shd talk to her more bcos we work together and it doesn't make sense the 3 of us being divided but I don't know if I can ever trust her again.  How do I deal wid her, I mean we work in the same school and I don't need to take emotional stress to my classroom!.   
islandgirl29 islandgirl29
26-30, F
3 Responses Feb 28, 2007

I have to agree with Scoutabout. I don't think friendship is supposed to be difficult. Once that initial trust is broken, I find it hard to regain (for myself). I am always on the lookout for them to hurt me again. As such, I can never fully RELAX and be myself.

I think you made a wise decision to end this so-called "friendship". It has never worked out for me to give someone "another chance" once they've pulled ****. In fact, if you read my story, you'll see how I was way too willing and too patient (25 years!) giving someone a "chance" to be a good (decent) friend. If they are not a decent friend from the start, they never will be, because they are not a decent person to begin with. My advise is to get rid of the thorns in your life and keep the roses - and this person is a thorn you don't need! (Read my story - Scoutabout).

Well I hope you two can work out your differences. Usually I stay away from that stuff but it seems like you are caught in it. It was your business before with your boyfriend. It must of hurt her too when you ditched her for herto do that. Although some people are control freaks. I hope you two can at least be civil about the whole thing.