I Thought I Had a Best-friend

I am a poet with a published book and in the Dedications I wrote apeom about my bestfriend - her name is Suzanne... only since I have been home from prison - she has been funny.

She doesn't use drugs at all - but when I was an active addict she would call me, talk to me, visit me - then when I went to prison - she only wrote to me 4 times.

When I came home - I saw her once... then she kinda disappeared for a while... she used all sorts of excuses not call me back or come over - when I was away - my mom treated her like a daughter,

the only thing I can think of is... since I have been home and I am clean and sober and intend to stay that way - she feels less like a daughter and more like an intruder...

I am sorry she feels this way - because I truly thought I had the kind of friend I could share my innermost feelings with...

she had the nerve not to visit my mom in the hospital - and then write me an email telling me it's all my fault she doesn't come around because I haven't changed - but that's not true - I have changed for the better...

It's hard letting go... but I guess I thought more of her, than she thought of me.  I think she liked feeling superior to me - and now she can't do that.

it's shame really... but I will move on.  I won't USE because she isn't who I thought she was.  I won't ever use again.
41-45, F
1 Response May 3, 2007

CONGRATS!! It sounds like you got your act together and in the end your best friend really is yourself. It hurts when people discard you, but maybe she is threatened by you now, because she KNOWS that you are strong and maybe she only likes to have what she thinks are weak people around her, because that helps her boost her own self-esteem. Sad as it is, You will go on and have some new GREAT freinds that won't be threatened by your strength but will appreciate it and encourage you to do the most with your life as possible. Good Luck!!