My Very Long Story

this is long and i probably sound rediculous maybe overreacting? but i dont care because this is so unbelievably hard
ok so my best friend for 6 years (ever since 5th grade) met this guy who turned out to be a total *******. he hit her on occasion and hit me (!) and he was so mean to her and cheated on her. Then her parents forbid them to see each other ever again and she was put under house arrest pretty much.

during the course of her dating him she neglected all her other friends and became bitter and hard to get along with.  but still i stuck by her because thats what best friends do. she lost her virginity to him and gave up all this stuff eventually. she lost all her self esteem even though she is wonderfull beautiful and sweet and the most amazing person ever. it is SO hard to see that happen to a friend

on valentines day they "broke up" because he cheated on her, but like 2 days later she took him back and things only got worse. thats when they started having sex more and more and he was disrespecting her so much

they broke up once she found out he cheated on her AGAIN and she lasted for a while. then while i was at the mall with her we ran into him and STUPID ME let them talk. now they are all "i love you and missed you" again even though she realized what an ******* he is. so in this period of time im threatening to tell her parents they are back together. He told me he was gonna kill me and get his friends to beat me up because "im a life ruiner" he told me neither of them wanted me in their lives and she secretly hated me. this manipulative ******* started getting through to me

i knew she wanted me in her life but i sent her the aim convo where he said all this and she didnt even get mad at him. if anyone had ever said those things to my friend then i would have gotten out a long time ago. i hate that she doesnt care about me enough to even yell at him for it. i told her she had to choose between use because i couldnt watch her go through this again. the next thing i know they are secretly dating.

ouch

so thats my situation. i have cried basically every night and i think my sadness is gonna last a while. i cant do this but i have to because while im trying to protect her she is just making things worse for herself. im not gonna help her get over him the next time he hits her or cheats on her cuz im not gonna be there. but i still worry about her getting pregnant or beat up because he is a hard puncher (i know from experiance)

i find myself asking if i will ever be able to get past this. will i ever stop missing her?
kittykat123 kittykat123
18-21, F
2 Responses May 16, 2007

I've been in such related situation like urs 2 yrs ago that's why I know exactly how u feel right now.I've done same things but as a result I got disappointed & discouraged as welluntil I said the same to myself"I'll never be there for her next time thatshe needs me".Unfortunately this friend of mine needs to experience a false pregnancy problem before she realized everything(hope never happen to ur best friend)but during those times that she's confused I'm still beside her because that's what true friends are.......WE ALWAYS CARE......<br />
Writing letter always works for me when the topic is some sort of complecated so maybe u can try it...Let her figure out the person she become,her present situation and that she deserve more than what she have at present by writing a letter that will remind her of how wonderful person,friend and daughter she used to be&what life would be if she end up with this guy.I hope it can help both of u:for u to express ur feelings & thought and for her to realize everything.<br />
As her best friend u can give her ur opinion and pieces of adivice and it's up to her to do the rest.U can influence her decisions in some aspect but u can never make the actual decision for her.She must realized and help herself first before someone else can do.And always remember that u've done everything that u can as her best friend whatever happen.<br />
I want u to know that i'm proud of u for being such a true person & friend.

That is really sad and he sounds very controlling and abusive. One thing an abuser does is to isolate the person they are dating from all of their friends. I wonder if she is secretly intimidated by him and maybe affraid to leave. If she is young like I suspect she is she probably does not fully understand that this is not a healthy loving relationship. He tells her he loves her and she believes it. The saddest thing is you can not save her from this guy! She has to get away from him on her own. I know its hard to watch a friend go through all that and it sounds like you have been a great friend to her. He said those things to you that she didn't like you to keep the two of you apart! He is controlling and until she sees it and leaves him theres not much anyone can do.