Me Versus a Man

I met my former best friend in the 6th grade, nearly 20 years ago. We did everything together and basically grew up in the same house alternating between my parents house and her parent's house. Basically, when you saw one of us you saw the other. It seemed that we'd be friends forever because no one knew either of us the way we knew each other. After we graduated from high school when went to different colleges, but they were only about 30 minutes away from each other. She met a guy there her junior year and to make a long story short, she totally forgot about our friendship and he became her entire world. After 7 years or so she finally married him which was shocking considering that she rarely had anything good to say about him and they always were arguing. I was drafted to be in her wedding, but about 4 weeks before the wedding I told her for the 2nd time that I was not happy for her and that I thought her marriage was ridiculous. It made no sense to me for her to marry a man that she didn't even plan to live with. No only that, they would be living in different cities after the wedding. I basically told her how I felt about her and about him and she decided that I shouldn't be in her wedding. This was a relief considering that the sight of them made me physically sick. I haven't spoken to her now in nearly a year. When I think about her I miss her, but I refuse to call her. Similarly, if she were to call me, I'm not sure that I would have anything kind to say.  As a matter of fact, I prefer not to know anything about her or how her life is progressing because it just reminds me of how we used to be friends and how in my opinion she let a man come between our friendship. Thankfully I have three more best friends and a husband that are supportive and sincere.

Losing a friend is never easy, but time truly does help with decreasing the pain. It's just those reminders of them that tend to stoke a fire that has been working on burning itself out. Personally, if I had a memory eraser pill, I would take it immediately to get rid of all memories I've had with my former friend.   

Bianca02 Bianca02
26-30, F
1 Response May 22, 2007

Most often we are getting over protected with our best friends because we dont want to see them getting hurt and crying in front of us.But we must always remember that as their friends we can give our opinion and pieces of advice during decision making hoping that it can ifluenced their decision in some aspect but if a certain decision was made by them that's already something that we need to respect.After all maybe she & her husband have already overcome the twist & turns of their relationship for this past year.And since you've admitted that u miss her why don't make the first move.It always make feel better if we follow the decision that comes from our heart.