Feels Good

Just last night i was cutting myself, i am currently going through  a divorce, and that added with some extra stress and disalusions about someone else in my life who turned out to stick a knife in my guts with the old "your such a nice guy line" i was at work which is a remote camp, and i had to go for a walk. but before i went i sharpened my serrated knife, and tested it a couple of times before i left. while i was out i ended up cutting myself another 7 times all on the right forarm. it felt great, i lost all sorrow that i was feeling. for a bit anyways. once my cuts stopped bleeding i felt myself getting depressed again so i took my knife again and went back into the cuts and opened them up wider till the blood was running of my hand. I really enjoyed the feeling and watching my blood drip on the ground. This is something that i can do to make myself feel good and no-one can take it away from me no matter what they say or do to me. I only started cutting myself in 2004 after my mother had passed away it was the only way to releive the pain in my head and body, and now when i get really depressed that is how i deal with it.

jerrio36 jerrio36
36-40, M
Feb 21, 2009