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Just To Be Clear

I like to helping others. I know the feeling being clueless and lost, and worse, everyone seems too busy to help or offer some comfort. It so miserable.  I can't let other feel that miserable. 
In other hand I also get a lot of helps by people, sometimes even by random stranger. Even though the act is simple like hold the door open or just friendly smile, it brighten my day. And I have intention to pay it forward. "If you can, just help" that is attitude that I want to apply in my life.
But just because I like to help, doesn't mean I always gonna help you blindly if you ask me. There are things that you have to do on your own.
If you "need" my help and I have the capacity to help, then yes I'd love to help. But if you ask me to help  to save you from some trouble and shifted the responsibility to me, sorry, the answer would be no, you have to do it yourself. 
I like to help, but I ain't your personal helper that you can moan to and whine to every time you can't deal it yourself.
Just to be clear, I try to be nice to everyone but I draw the line between being nice and being doormat. .

 

charmingpurple charmingpurple 22-25, F 4 Responses Feb 4, 2012

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well said.

Cannot agreed more to what you say.. sound like me..he he he.. i help my sister and her 33 years old daughter by giving them a room to stay when they sold their own house and spend all the money by themselves. Now they are creating problems from me. They are starting to complain about my friends who rent the other two rooms from me.. I am drain by them.

Aww, sorry. I hope they can be just thankful and not turn to such parasites *hugs*

You VERY CLEAR about helping others and you are ABSOLUTELY Right!You keep things in perspective and that is even better.Good Work so far and Thanks for sharing your story and your "formulas/ideas for helping others" :<br />
"#1. "If you can, just help" that is attitude that I want to apply in my life. "<br />
#2.If you "need" my help and I have the capacity to help, then yes I'd love to help!<br />
#3.if you ask me to help to save you from some trouble and shifted the responsibility to me, sorry, the answer would be no, you have to do it yourself. "<br />
are just the "Right ones" for those who think of helping others! :)

Awww, thank you. I love your EP name, PositiveBeing, cool name :)

well said. It's good to help but a person has to want to help themselves first. I've learned that unfortunately we can't always help everyone because some people take advantage of one's kindness. And if we allow, drain us emotionally. So with some people I do help them out but I know where to put my limit now too. If they are not willing to improve their own situation and just keep asking for more and more help and don't do anything to improve their circumstances then I just let them be. I sometimes friend people so I can motivate and encourage them...but they are so negative that they are not willing to change their mental attitude and they continue focusing on the negative. So although I care I just give them their space so they can be.

Yeah I agree. I think we can only help to make them feel a little better, if they want to be happy, its on their own hand.

:)