Giving Of Oneself- The Best Way To Get Out Of Ourselves!

I hesitated to join this group even though it speaks to true to me because I always try and post my experience when I join a group on here. The thought of posting a story in relation to this just didn't really sit right with me because I don't do what I do so that I can say look at what I do, its just not in my nature to be in the spotlight. However as I mentioned this group speaks so true to what I believe in and more importantly it speaks to what I try my best to do. Those of you who have read any of my previous life experience stories will know that I have not lived a so-called normal life. Mine has been tumultuous, with many ups and downs, one crisis to the other, starting in the beginning with abuse, and there after riddled with active addiction to drugs, crime, living on the streets, forced in to one institution or another, corrections, detox centers, treatment centers, psychiatric wards. Yet even with these things I have never really fit the stereotypes. I have been blessed with certain attributes, what some call gifts and today I am thankful for them and try my best to use these gifts and my experiences to try and help others avoid some of the pitfalls or to try and get out the best way that they can. I believe that I am responsible in some ways to use the misery I have lived to try and help others because I have for whatever reason as I write this been fortunate enough to come out of all I shared above with no terminal diseases, no std's, and considering the high risk lifestyle that I lived I have come out of it pretty much in tact.
As I mentioned near the start of this post I didn't want to write this to show what I do and all of that, so I won't go in to that because I don't do what I do so that I can say look at what I do, not that someone who does this is wrong, just for me it is not in my nature. I did decide to write though because I wanted to highlight the reasoning that goes through my mind when I endeavor to try and help others, why I do it and what I get out of it. Like I said as I write this I am fortunate to be one of the few who for the time being has made it out of active addiction, abject poverty, crime, the streets, and debilitating mental health issues, now this is not to say I am cured, NO, far from it, its just that someone, some people saw fit to help me. How this was done speaks loud to my belief in the hand up versus a handout approach. I believe a hand up is what is needed in most cases and works vastly better then a handout. A handout for the most part, quite frankly is an easy way out. It allows a person to walk away and be able to say to themselves "oh wow I am such a good person and look at what I just did" and though their intentions though good for the most part it doesn't really help in the long run. People in need are in need of support of empowerment, they need a friend who wants nothing from them but for them to be healthy, safe, and happy. Someone to listen to them, be there for them even when it is hard, and someone to share a better way to do things then the way they are doing them at that moment. It is a longer route to helping a person and takes far more work and resources, but my experience has shown me that it is not only far more effective but it is also longer lasting, and it usually leads to the person paying it forward because they have had to work for what they have and so they appreciate it much more then if it was just given and they are a newly empowered person not just some charity case. When I sat down to write this a few things crossed my mind, why do I do what I do to try best to help people? These words came to my mind "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." I think this speaks so true because when we forget and fail to do what matters to us we are as good as dead anyways. We are just existing and taken to the extreme we are slowly dying inside, degenerating. It is quite a slow and painful death actually when I think of it, and not just to ourselves. Anybody who cares about us and has to watch us do this it kills them inside as well. Don't get me wrong I have the utmost empathy, patience and understanding for those who are in this state of being for I have been dead in this way myself in the past for many years and it almost killed me in the physical sense as well and it was painful for those who cared about me to watch as well, so I share my beliefs on this based on experience. Another phrase that came to mind was just recently said but it spoke to the stark choices we have in how we want our society to be “We’re all in this together” is a far better philosophy than “You’re on your own.” This was said just a few nights ago at the DNC by former president of the USA Bill Clinton. To put some context to this he was speaking as to what the Republicans want Americans to believe is a better way of doing things. Clinton points out what to me is so obvious but for some reason to many Americans it is not, but I do not fault them for they have been fed this fear mongering, fed a steady stream of distortions to keep the population believing in the myth that any social programs constitute the government controlling us and then a whole slew of just blatant lies, what Clinton refers to as "This Republican narrative, this alternative universe " Anyways I don't want to get to much in to this though I easily could, ha ha, but that is for a different post. The phrase he said “We’re all in this together” is a far better philosophy than “You’re on your own.” was so amazing to me, it was just so well said and what I hope the majority of people will aspire to. So that is just a little about why I do what I do to help people.
As to what I get, well this part is will be much shorter because it is quite simple, what I get from helping people is I get to get out of myself. But in a good and healthy way. It feels good inside to freely give of myself and from a practical stand point it is so rewarding getting to watch and see the positive effect I am having on a persons life as I get to see the changes within those I help and the relationships that come out of it are priceless. Giving of oneself and helping others is the best and most healthy way that I know of to get out of myself. Of course like anything if done to the extreme then it becomes unhealthy and our lives become unmanageable, however when it is done with balance, and the help is given with NO EXPECTATIONS, (that part is crucial) then it lets me get out of myself and focus my energy on a person who needs it and hopefully that leads to making the world just a little better of a place. God knows the majority of the help that I have received was given to me freely, so quite simply today as I am in a better off place then I once was, I believe it is important for me to give back in whatever way that I can, that which was so freely given to me and it just so happens to feel extremely satisfying within to do just that. 
libra604 libra604
26-30, M
3 Responses Sep 8, 2012

Hi, as a person who always feels regretful and fearful about everything in life for no real reason, i think i am stuck and lost and helpless... Your post somehow offers me a very good solution to get out of myself. I thank you for that!

Your welcome. If my experience can in any way offer anything helpful, a glimmer of light, hope, or just something to think about, then I am pleased and it was worth posting the story. I don't have any expectations when I post a story of mine on here. But I must say, thank you for the kind comment and for even taking the time to read my life experience story. Most of my posts are fairly lengthy, so it means a lot to me when one takes the time and also leave a kind, thoughtful and sincere comment.
Sincerely libra604

There you are with that way of words you have. What you are saying is so clear and touches the heart every time. Its also, so true, I couldn't agree more with what you say every time we speak with each other. Its my turn to call you wonderful, wonderful.

HA ha, awe, thanks for that so very much. Means a lot to me. I am glad that the story spoke to you how it did. I can see how it did though because you are a very kind, caring, and sincere person. And I also have had the privelege to get to know you and so I therefor know some of your passions, so I must say I am not surprised that you relate and agree with this post of mine. Thanks for taking the time to read my story though, and as always it is a pleasure to hear from you. Take care.
Sincerely libra604

Great post! I think we could all benefit from such a philosophy.

Well thank you very much for that nice comment and also just for even taking the time to read one of my posts. Especially since the majority of stories are pretty long and the above post is one of them. So thanks for taking the time to read it and for the time and effort to leave a thoughtful and kind comment. Take Care.
Sincerely libra604