Thought Of The Day

After a brief yet hurtful conversation with one of my former classmate tonight, I feel compelled to write some thoughts down. The purpose of this writing is to let myself straighten out things that I want to say verbally, only without actually saying it. It's a great practice of focus.

Upon graduation, I have come to notice that former classmates began to drift away. All the former students found a new sense of freedom and achievement, therefore it is normal to do so. I also experience the same kind of push --- to be more myself, and to indulge in this freedom that we all felt we earned.

I kept wondering about this same thing... Jealousy is creeping on the people that I know. When a friend is jealous, that friend will hurt you, even by accident. In some instances I've confided in a few friends to spill my daily thoughts --- I've gotten a similar mass reaction, which is to become more positive and write the things that I should be "grateful of".

This is what I really think is happening. When someone spills something about their life, maybe about school, job, money, food, etc, I have in the past compare their life and mine. I came to conclusion that their life are always BETTER than mine, thus creating jealousy. This envy has pushed me to tell them that they should be grateful because there are other people who have less than what they have. I said these things as if I know everything about their life. No one does, just because they spill one instance about their night/ day, doesn't mean it gives it a right for me to tell them to be grateful. Most of the time, they are not even complaining, they are just blabbering, which is normal.

This hurts and tonight, the same thing happened to me. I feel happy and content with my state of mind. I do feel hurt and dissapointed when someone I confide in, told me to write a list of things I should be focused on. I want to say... maybe YOU need to write that list yourself. So you know which part of your life that you are comparing to mine?

I've always been a simple person, who wanted some simple things. I must be so naive to think there won't be jealousy and pain everywhere. But i am happy to say: that I am happy in my life. I don't feel hungry --- I simply feel I have "enough". My mind is content, not looking for something more, or scared. If a small instance of my day that I've shared created jealousy in your mind, then you need a loyal friend who can understand you. I am willing to listen, if you are willing to be honest. You will find peace, but honestly is your number 1 step.
rayforever310 rayforever310
22-25, F
Jan 19, 2013