So I've been with my boyfriend for a couple months now and I'm already engaged. Everybody tells me it is way too soon to get married including us fighting all the time but I just need help:( i get very jealous and I don't trust him I'm always questioning him in everything he does I can't keep calm and I just don't know why as much as I try to be better. I know for a fact it's not an insecurity issue but it's probably because I don't want to get hurt since I love him so much and he's done me pretty bad in the past before we got to together.I feel like I'm losing him. He is always quite with me now doesn't talk and our sex life has gone down the drain. I don't think he feels attracted to me as before and I'm hurting ): < 3
glam738 glam738
18-21, F
5 Responses Aug 18, 2014

If your already fighting a bunch just think about how great it will be in 5 years. not

Some advice to save your relationship. Stop acting like that! ASAP! If he really is faithful and it's just in your mind and your interpretation of his actions. Then this is an issue only you can fix. If you don't fix it you will drive him away. I left the love of my life because of this same behavior. I loved her totally and wanted to keep her for the rest of my life. I saw my future in her eyes. But she kept accusing me of cheating and of other things that I didn't do. I could see it wasn't going to change and that I was becoming a very unhappy unpleasant person. I left because I couldn't deal with her any more. My current gf did the same thing recently and I very nearly left her to. In a not so nice voice I told her that it was all in her head and she needed to stop. She backed down and when we were calm we talked about it. Things got a lot better instantly. But I couldn't change things she has to because it was in her mind. Love and trust are things that we decide to do. You can choose to love him and trust him. Or you can choose not to trust him and you will be choosing him not being able to love you.

If you know it's wrong. Why do you do it?
Who gets engaged THAT quickly??
That's your insecurity isn't it???
I was married to someone like you.
My life was hell for nearly 20 years!!!!
If I was five minutes late leaving work for home. Endless phone calls!!
One of the reasons I've been single SO LONG!!!!!!
PLEASE. Take some advice.
Decide if this is just you being a b*+ch! Or whether it's a serious emotional and psychological issue!!!!!!
If it's the first. THEN STOP!!!!!!!!!
And if it's the second. GO SEE A SHRINK!!!!!
And if you live this guy. Do it NOW!!

Ok first of all. You need to chill out. Whether she makes choices you agree with or don't, you can't insult her and her person that way. It's rude. Didn't your mom teach you manners? Second, you don't even know this girl how can you call her a B****?? You need to adjust your way of delivering your messages. It comes across as very narrow minded and offensive. I think you may have meant to be helpful but it really doesn't help anyone to insult them and their character.

You sir, are rude.

I had this done to me when I was engaged to a woman in my younger years. She didn't trust me and always thought I was going out to cheat on her. I had never given her a reason to think this. It finally was too much to take and I left her. So, you need to learn to trust him or leave. You said he hurt you in the past then, I would say as much as it might hurt you might want to move on and find someone you do trust and treats you right.

As a male, I can tell you that if a woman does that to me I get pissed and don't want to be with her anymore. You need to give him more space and you should definitely wait on the marriage. You have the rest of your lives!