Helping People

Where is the line between helping someone, and having to let go and just allow them the chance to stand on there own two feet? I think good people, people who care so much struggle with this, they care so much about another person, that they are afraid to let go. How do you know when it is the right time to let another go? Perhaps every situation, and relationship is different, and wisdom for this answer just comes with time, trial, and error...I don't really know, but I am glad I care to much rather then not enough.

Chrmingo Chrmingo
26-30, M
4 Responses May 28, 2009

What I'm hearing here is a request for standards which have been set by society. A good way to obtain such standards is to contact your local "Red Cross" or "Red Crescent" society and ask to be trained in First Aid and CPR. In these courses the "Good Samaritan Law" is taught. Versions of this law have been passed in all 50 states of the United States. What it boils down to is that you can offer help, but if it is refused you can do nothing until the person is unable to respond (e.g. unconcious). At this point you can provide such help as a reasonable person would provide as long as it is a good faith effort and demonstrably within your skills and training. I recognise the situation becomes somewhat less clear for emotional issues.

i think the line gets draw when the person has been taken care of by another so much they can no longersustain life on their own without that person.

I can't seem to disassociate myself even when the other person has self-destructive patterns, if anything it compels me to try harder to help them. However perhaps you are correct and that is the line where it becomes up to them to save themselves, and you can only be there with a open hand, willing to help them if they ask for it...

I believe I am my brother's keeper too. The indication for me to dissassociate myself is when the other person chooses to engage in self-destructive behavior.