Contented With Loneliness

 Looking back, trying to remember what happened this 20 years.

i dont see anything worthwhile remembering or reminiscing.

life has been nothing pain, rejection and loneliness for me.
really got used to this feeling and i automatically reject people now.
i don't see much love in my life anymore nor i do allow it to happen to me anymore either.

it seems when i got too much used to solitude it became my comfort zone. (i feel awkward/ annoyed when i'm w/ people).
and now it seems i feel better not considering to have any emotions toward anyone at all
and a weird feeling of contentment in loneliness.

when it comes about love, acceptance of breaking my emotional barrier, i used to think about one special person to that i knew before but right now it feels like i am even more closed to that someone even if i get the chance.

i can only see myself in the future getting along w/ more people (better social skills - w/ a quite complex situation/ reason), loving my future carreer but never going to open anyone else my entire life. btw This is me becoming optimistic

Rocko29 Rocko29
18-21, M
Mar 13, 2010