My First Time...

My husband and I recently met up with another couple whom we've been talking to for several months. We have flirted back and forth, talked about hooking up, and exchanged "adult" pictures, even "chatted" over the webcam a few times...it was great, but we lived too far away and the logistics just never worked out, but we got to be great friends. They are a very happily married couple, just as we are, both bi-curious. We finally were able to meet last month. They visited us at the condo we were staying in on vacation, we drank too much, and eventually wound up nude in the hottub together. After we got out, the king size bed was the closest place to collapse, and we did...and things just flowed from there. It was an awesome experience, and one that I am very excited to repeat. They seem to be, too. We talk several nights a week. I get along really well with the husband, and my husband gets along really well with the wife or the other couple. He (my husband) and she both aren't crazy about chatting online, and both work weird hours, so its typically the husband and myself who talk most often. We have built up a very solid friendship, and there are definitely intimate, emotional feelings coming across, at least on my part, and I'm pretty sure from theirs as well. But its not just for him, its for them. I've heard about Polyamoury as an alternate lifestyle, but enver truly understood how it works. Do you think you can truly love, as in be in love, with more than one person, or with a couple, and with your husband?? I don't have any fantasies of breaking apart any relationship, I loved being with both of them, and I loved sharing this experience with my husband. There wasn't the least bit of jealousy from any of us, which I kinda of thought there would be, but it was awesome that there wasn't. I guess I just wanted to talk to someone who has been through this, and see if what I'm feeling is typical or normal, or....whatever...
PsychChic PsychChic
26-30, F
12 Responses Mar 27, 2007

"They visited us at the condo we were staying in on vacation, we drank too much, and eventually wound up nude in the hottub together"<br />
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Those darn hot tubs! :) One of our greatest sexual experiences (back in our late 20's) started just like that. It wasn't as wild, but it was wild for us at the time.

I believe you can love more than person as well. I also think that anytime you connect with and communicate with someone on a regular basis, emotions become involved. Whether they're feelings of intense friendship, or love, you do become emotionally attached in a way. It sounds like you are all responsible adults who thoroughly enjoy each other in more than just the sexual aspect of the relationship. I wish you all the best :)

thats pretty cool....we also have such emotions lets connect sometime and then we can discuss.

Great story! I do think it is possable to love two people at once. The differnce between swinging and poly is all about how two people can be themsevles but still be in love and trust one another. Alot of things overlap and people think that it ia all about just one thing. Sex! Sex is great but you still have to repect others. I do think it is possable to love a couple. I am a single but if I met a couple and both of us clicked meaning the husband and the wife and myself then yes I would think of wanting some kind of long term relationship with both of them.

My partner and I have discussed this. My question is, if I feel I`m living in a slight sexless marriage, where I initiate alot more than he does. Yet I feel rejected many times when I have initiated. Do we need to have a strong healthy & happy intimate and sex satisfying relationship, before we start swinging. He is keen to swing and I`m ok about it, I`m bi and he now recently bi curious. I have not acted on my bi sexuality for years. Yet I`m frustrated in only having sex 2-3 times per month as it is and amongst that times of being rejected, which makes me withdraw more. I feel I`m up for swinging once we have the balance right for us now.

I believe that emotions are a relative thing. You can love more than one person as we all do to various degrees. Define love! I am not sure that anyone can. And sex is sex is sex. it is a physical need of all humans once exposed to it. A physical release is an ****** and that is what sex is about other than to pro-create. Once you have done that to your satisfaction, then sex is just a physical need to have an orgasmic release to satisfy a part of the human experience.<br />
I have had sex with several women, wives included and some were just sex and my wives were "love" and emotional attachment. Even though I see that there are a lot of women on here that have a sexless marriage, I find that there are more men out there looking for women than the reverse and it is downright frustrating.<br />
My wife and I have a great sex life, actually more often and better than my last wife, but I still have a desire to have sex with other women. She has given me her okay to have an open marriage, but I prefer that we find others and enjoy alternate sex together.<br />
I am trying to find local (southwest Missouri) couples with similar ideals.

I believe that emotions are a relative thing. You can love more than one person as we all do to various degrees. Define love! I am not sure that anyone can. And sex is sex is sex. it is a physical need of all humans once exposed to it. A physical release is an ****** and that is what sex is about other than to pro-create. Once you have done that to your satisfaction, then sex is just a physical need to have an orgasmic release to satisfy a part of the human experience.<br />
I have had sex with several women, wives included and some were just sex and my wives were "love" and emotional attachment. Even though I see that there are a lot of women on here that have a sexless marriage, I find that there are more men out there looking for women than the reverse and it is downright frustrating.<br />
My wife and I have a great sex life, actually more often and better than my last wife, but I still have a desire to have sex with other women. She has given me her okay to have an open marriage, but I prefer that we find others and enjoy alternate sex together.<br />
I am trying to find local (southwest Missouri) couples with similar ideals.

I like your story and have a similar experience. it's scary opening yourself like that but the deeper I get into this, the more i find it's really worth it. I'm falling in love again with full permission of all participants.

When I first got halfway through the story before you mentioned polyamory, I did automatically think 'ooh! that's a bit polyamorous!' However, upon further consideration, polyamory involves relationships, so if you are wanting them to be more than sexual partners and potentially friends with benefits, then you are wanting them to be in deep relationships with you and your husband.<br />
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I do believe you can be deeply in love with more than one person.<br />
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I haven't quite had that experience. My boyfriend and I swing, but we didn't fall for anyone we swung with, we just became very good friends with them. However, we had a close friend that we ended up loving before there were any sexual elements involved.

It would really depend on my partner whether I could do this or not. I find the idea desireable, but as a fantasy or as something real - I don't know. I enjoyed the posting and comments! ;-)

This is a very balanced account of a successful bi-curious expedition that could becom a poly relationship. It will be good to be told of more progress... Kiatau

Great story. I have shared one similar about my first 4some. Have a look and let me know what you think :-X