Could We Also Talk About Sex?

  

  
 

About four months ago, I was corresponding with two fine, intelligent, well educated, good-looking Ukrainian ladies.

In the first case, I am the one who showed interest first for her. In my first email, as I find the subject important, and as I would like to be as open as possible about it, I decided to shortly broach the subject of sex. In my second email, I again broached it, inviting her to take a careful look at the Table of Contents of a book that I had bought a few years ago (see below). The result was not exactly great.

In the second case, she is the one who showed interest first for me. In my second email again, as I find the subject important, and as I would like to be as open as possible about it, and also as I knew that she had been married to a musician (artists tend, I believe, to be quite open, liberated, uninhibited), I decided again to shortly broach the subject of sex. Oh boy, was I put in my place, was I scolded! This lasted for a few emails. I soon was told that I was obsessed with sex, that this was all I was thinking about, that there were so many other subjects that we could talk about. The more she refused talking about sex, the more I wanted to talk about it. I was thinking: "If we are to enter into a serious relationship, I can't believe we won't talk about that subject!" She finally, for that reason, decided to put an end to our correspondence.

In both cases, it could have much to do with Ukrainian culture. But I experienced this with ladies of other countries, even here in Canada.

Not that I simply want to talk about sex (and about that only); I want good sex with my partner, and more.

I still believe that it's good, healthy, beneficial, important, especially for partners, to openly talk about all sex subjects (but with respect, refinement and certainly not as if it was dirty)! (By the way, why talk dirty, why use dirty words when we're talking about something so important, so wonderful?) Eroticism, refinement, suggestiveness, yes; pornograph*, vulgarity, explicitness, no. No taboos! No myths! Good, clean sex is important, an important part of love between partners; it adds to one's quality of life, to one's enjoyment of life! And, hey, it's so natural!

Two interesting links:

. Sexual revolution

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_revolution

. Let's tak about sex: Celebrating 50 years of sexual liberation

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/romance-passion/lets-talk-about-sex-celebrating-50-years-of-sexual-liberation-8412125.html

 

The Complete Idiots Guide to Amazing Sex (Third Edition, 2005)

 

CONTENTS

Part 1: Say Yes to Amazing Sex 1
1 Sexuality Today 3
 Are You Sex Savvy? 4
 From Sexual Revolution to Sexual Evolution 7
 Do Sex Trends Exist? 8
 Is Everyone Doing It? 10
Married or Single: Does It Make a Difference? 11
Young or Old: Does It Make a Difference? 12
 There's More Than One Reason to Have Sex 13
2 Sexpectations: Understanding Your Sexual Beliefs 17
 Staking Your Claim on Sexual Pleasure 18
 Remembering Your Sexual Influences 19
 Myths About Sex 21
 Your Attitude Adjustment 22
 Talking About Your Sexual Past 23
3 Sex with (or Without) Love 27
 This Thing Called Love 27
 When and How to Express Your Love 29
 From Attraction to Love and Sex 31
 Does Love Affect Sex? 31
Monogamy 33
Casual Sex and One Night Stands 34
 When Is the Timing Right? 35
4 Sexual Compatibility 37
 Finding Someone Who Turns You On 37
 What Makes Good Sex? 39
 What Do You Want from Your Sex Life? 41
 Compatibility Checklist 41
 Can You Create Lust and Sexual Compatibility? 43
 What Do You Find Sexy? 43
5 Talking About and Initiating Sex 45
 Sex Topics 45
 How to Talk About Sex 46
 Talking (or Not) to Initiate Sex 48
 Saying "Maybe" 49
 Why "No" Must Mean "No" 49
 What If Only One of You Wants Sex? 50
 Finding Time for Sex 52
Part 2: Secrets from Below the Belt 55
6 Mirror, Mirror on the Wall 57
 Am I the Only One Who Hates My Body? 58
 Do You Need to Improve the Way You Feel About Your Body? 59
 What Do You Dislike About Your Body? 61
 Getting Comfortable Getting Nude 62
 Getting Comfortable with Your Body During Sex 64
 More Steps to a Better Body Image 65
 Sexy Is As Sexy Does 67
7 His Private Parts 69
 Male Sex Organs: It's What's Inside That Counts 69
The Testes 70
The Scrotum 71
The Epididymis 71
The Vas Deferens 71
The Seminal Vesicles 71
The Prostate Gland 72
The Cowper's Glands 72
 Penis Power 72
The Glans 72
The Foreskin 73
The Frenulum 73
 Why "Bon**" Is a Misnomer 74
 The What's What of Sper* and Sem** 74
The Heads and Tails of Sper* 75
How Much Sper* Is in Sem**? 75
 Ejaculat*** and Org*** 76
 Surprise! It's Not About Size 77
8 Her Secret Garden 79
 Female Sex Organs: What's Going on Down There? 80
The Ovaries 80
The Fallopian Tubes 81
The Uterus 81
The Cervix 82
Vagina Is for Lovers 82
The Urinary Opening and Vaginal Opening 82
The Hymen 83
The Vulva 83
The Clitoris 85
 "G" Marks the Spot 85
 Female Ejaculat*** 86
 These Are Two of Her Favorite Things: Breasts 86
 Oh, Baby! 88
Blood, Sweat, and Tears 89
     Blood, Sweat, and…Org*** 90
PMS—The Storm Before the Calm 90
 Feminine Hygiene: Say Yes to the Shower and No to the Douche 91
9 It's a Turn-On: Your Sexual Response 93
 Here Comes That Loving Feeling 94
Desire 94
Arousal 95
Plateau 95
Org*** 96
Resolution 96
 The Big "O" 97
Female Org**** 97
Male Org**** 98
Multiple Org****—The More the Merrier? 99
Simultaneous Org****—Timing Isn't Everything 99
Org*** Myths 100
Faking It 100
10 Master of Your Domain 103
 Mmmmm Is for Masturbat*** 104
 Health Benefits of Masturbat*** 105
 Who Does It and How Much? 105
 Different Strokes for Different Folks 107
 Hands-On Experience 109
 Do You Know What You Like? 110
 Touch Me, Touch You 112
 Improving Your Sex Life Through Masturbat*** 113
 Working Out Your Love Muscles 113
Part 3: Fantastic Foreplay 117
11 The Seduction 119
 What Is Foreplay? 119
 Get into the Mood 120
 Transform Your Home into a Love Nest 121
 Creating a Sensuous Feast 123
 Saying Sexy, Subtle Things 125
 Giving Affection 126
 A Kiss Is Just a Kiss…or Is It? 126
Warming Up 127
Mouth to Mouth 127
The French Kiss 128
Coming Up for Air 129
 Dressing to Turn on Your Lover 129
 Str** It, Str** It Good 130
12 Reach Out and Touch Someone 133
 What Are Your Erogenous Zones? 134
 How to Give a Sensual Massage 135
 Lathering Up in the Shower or Bath 136
 How to Give Him a Good Org*** with Your Hand 138
 How to Bring Her to Org*** with Your Hand 140
 Mutual Masturbat***: Would You Like a Hand with That? 142
 More Ways to Keep in Touch 144
13 Mouthing Off 145
 Why Oral Sex Is Amazing 146
 What to Do If You Have Inhibitions About Oral Sex 146
 Lick It, Lick It Good 148
 Put Your Mouth Around That 151
Spit or Swallow? 154
 Safer Oral Sex 156
 More Oral Sex Variations 156
Lying Down, Standing, Sitting Up, and Squatting 156
Sixty-Nine Is So Fine 157
Exotic Locations 157
Hot and Cold Sensations 158
Playing with Food 158
Using Sex Toys During Oral Sex 158
 Oral-Anal Contact 159
All-over Oral Pleasure 159
Part 4: Positions and Playtime 163
14 Sexual Positions 165
 Man-on-Top 166
 Woman-on-Top 168
 Sex from Behind 169
 Side-by-Side 170
 Sitting 171
 Standing 172
 Strange Names for Sexy Positions 174
Scissors 174
The Crab 175
The Snake 175
The Rabbit 176
The Wheelbarrow 177
 Anal Sex 178
15 Pillow Talk 181
 Org**** After Intercourse 182
 Aftercare 182
 What If You Want to Fall Asleep? 184
 What's There to Talk About? 184
 Encore! Encore! 185
 Sex on the Run 186
 Creative Afterplay Activities 186
16 Variety Is the Spice of Sex 189
 All the Right Moves 190
Push It, Push It Real Good 190
 Body Double 191
 Prop to It! 192
Incredible Edibles 192
Wet and Wild 193
Paint-by-Touch 194
Soft Touches and Tickles 194
 Timing Is Everything 194
The Quickie 194
The Sex Weekend 195
 Rocking 'Round the Clock 195
Sex in Dreamland 196
Touch Me in the Morning 196
Lunch Box Special 196
 Open House 197
Bathroom Bawdiness 197
Now You're Cooking 197
Eating In 198
Loving in the Living Room 198
Stairway to Heaven 198
Attic Antics 198
basement Basics 199
Pull On In 199
No Vacancies 199
 Sex in the Great Outdoors 200
Backyard Parties 200
Woody the Wood Peck** 200
Mountain Highs 201
Sand, Surf, and Sensuality 201
Playing Around on the Playground 202
Jump in the Deep End 202
Hot Stuff in the Hot Tub 202
A Bird's Eye View 202
 When Intimate Isn't Necessarily Private 203
Going Up, Going Down 203
What a Way to Make a Living 204
School Spirit 204
Let's Get Physical 204
 Sex on the Move 205
Frequent Flyer's Smiles 205
You Drove Me to It 205
Staying on Track 206
Taxi Trysts 206
Hop on the Harley 206
Part 5: Sexual Adventures 209
17 Imagine That! Your Sexual Fantasies 211
 In Your Dreams! 212
 Tonight's Top 10 List 214
 Sharing Your Fantasies 219
 When Fantasy Becomes Reality 221
 Fun with Fantasies 222
18 Sexy Sights and Sounds 225
 Aural Sex 226
 Call of the Wild 228
 Nude Pictures 229
 Sexy Stories 230
 Por* Flicks 231
Renting 232
Making Your Own 233
 Byte Me and Suck My Hard Drive 234
Sex Sites: Chasing the Links 234
Sex Chats: The Sound of One Hand Typing 236
19 What Would Barbie Think? Fun with Sex Toys 239
 Is That a Dild* in Your Pocket or Are You Just Glad to See Me? 240
 Vibrators: Getting a Buzz On 242
 And There's More! 244
I Like That, Butt This Feels Great! 244
Ancient Chinese Secret? 245
Toys for Boys 246
Blown Up or Tied Up 247
 Do-It-Yourself Sex Toys 247
 Lovin', Not Druggin' 248
20 Swingers and Dominants and Men in Skirts, Oh My! 251
 Role Playing: Make-Believe and Make Out 252
 Crossdressing: What's Under That Skirt? 253
 Fetishes: May I Touch Your Feet? 256
 Group Sex: All Together Now 257
 S/M: Taking the Blindfold Off 260
 Can Alternative Sex Go Too Far? 264
21 Tantric Sex: The Big Om 267
 What Is Tantra? 268
 Is Tantra for You? 268
 The Tantric Way 269
Breathing in Harmony 269
How You Balance Each Other 270
Beginning Tantric Sex 270
 Riding the Wave 272
 Tantric Sexual Positions 273
Lotus Sex Positions 273
Clasping Position 274
Cupped Position 274
 The Full-Body Org*** 274
 Withholding Ejaculat*** 275
 How Tantra Can Improve Your Sex Life 277
Part 6: Unique Sexual Issues 279
22 Happy to Be Gay 281
 Labels Are for Cans 282
 The Sexual Orientation Continuum 282
 Bi the Way 284
 Why Are People Gay? 286
 Discovering and Accepting Homosexuality 287
 Come Out, Come Out, Whoever You Are 288
 Pride and Prejudice 290
 So, What Exactly Do You Do in Bed? 291
23 Sex and Pregnancy: What Are You Doing for the Next Nine Months? 295
 Changing Shape 296
 Sex During Pregnancy 297
 The Right Position at the Right Time 299
Sex Do's and Don'ts 300
More Ways to Enjoy Each Other 301
 How Do Men Feel About Sex During Pregnancy? 301
 Mother Lovin': Sex After the Baby 303
Physical Challenges 303
Emotional Challenges 304
Too Pooped to Pop? 305
Quality Time 305
24 Experience Counts: Sex and Aging 307
 Women and Aging 308
Her Good Old Body 308
The Change of Life 309
 Male Issues About Sex and Aging 310
You Can't Keep a Good (Old) Man Down 311
Does My Hair Look Better If I Part It This Way? 312
 Health and Sex for Aging Men and Women 312
Men and Women Are Using It, Not Losing It 314
Part 7: To Your Sexual Health 317
25 Get in Control: Birth Control 319
 Asking Your Partner to Choose and Use 319
 Are There Ever "Safe" Times of the Month? 320
 Choosing Birth Control 321
 It's a Hormonal Thing 321
Birth Control Pills 322
Norplant 323
Depo-Provera: The Birth Control Shot 323
Intrauterine Device (IUD) 324
 Putting Up Barriers 325
His Condom 325
Her Condom 328
Vaginal Spermicides 328
Diaphragms and Cervical Caps 329
 More Methods for Consideration 329
Sterilization 329
Fertility Awareness Methods (FAMs) 330
Abstinence 331
 Which Method Is Best for You? 331
 When All Else Fails, You Still Have Options 332
The Morning After Pill 332
RU486 333
Abortion 333
Adoption 334
26 Better Safer Than Sorry 335
 Talking About Safer Sex 336
How to Talk About STDs 336
What If You Know You Have an STD? 337
 The ABC of STDs 337
Chlamydia 338
Herpes 338
Genital Warts (HPV) 339
Gonorrhea 339
Syphilis 339
Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) 340
Urinary Tract Infection 340
Vaginitis 340
Crabs 341
Internal Parasites 341
Hepatitis B 342
Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) and Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS) 342
What Are Your Symptoms? 344
Checking for STDs 344
Testing for HIV 345
 Condoms and Safer Sex 346
27 Take a Good Look—These Exams Save Lives 347
 Your Healthy Breasts 348
How to Perform a Breast Self-Exam (BSE) 348
What If You Find a Lump? 350
 It Only Comes Once a Year: The Gynecological Exam 350
 Men and Sexual Health 353
The Testicular Self-Exam: You've Got Balls, Check 'Em Out 353
Just Relax, It's the Prostate Exam 354
28 Overcoming Sexual Problems 357
 Not in the Mood: Lack of Desire 358
 Waiting for the O: Women Who Have Never Had an Org*** 359
 Intercourse Without Org**** 362
 Premature Ejaculat*** 362
5, 6, 7, 8—Now's the Time to Stop and Wait 363
Please Me, Squeeze Me 364
 When It's Hard to Get Hard 365
Viagra: The Great Blue Hope? 366
Pump It Up 367
 Painful Intercourse 367
Vaginismus 368
 Male and Female Performance Anxiety 368
 Sex Therapy: Getting Professional Help 369
What Happens in Sex Therapy? 369
Sensate Focus 370
What Is a "Sex Surrogate"? 370
 Choosing a Sex Therapist 371
Appendices
A Amazing Sex from A to Z 373
B Get in Touch with Your Sexuality 385
Index 389

Karll Karll
56-60, M
1 Response Jan 7, 2013

Phew !!!

Ha! Ha! Exhausting, right? Enough talk! Action!