Never Let Them Know

there was a time in my life that i was down to my last fifty dollars on my credit card.

no money.

no job. 

no apartment.

just that last fifty dollars on a visa card.

i couldn't go to my parent's house because my dad was dead and my mom's apartment was getting foreclosed and she didn't have any money either.

those were bad times.

this was in november a couple years back.  i had thrown the dice on a job interview that i didn't get and was wondering how i would survive.  i remember it was november because i thought it had been a pretty ****** year overall, and that i would be happy when december rolled around.

during that week, i didn't eat or do much of anything so that i could save as much of that $50 as i could.  i thought about what i could do for money.  maybe tutor high school kids? i had done that in college and rich people are always looking for a tutor for their spoiled children so that they can go to one of these expensive colleges.  some of my thoughts strayed into the bizarre.  start my own religion?  there's always money in that.  professional gambler?  I probably would have needed a few more dollars to start with though.

then, out of nowhere, i got an email from my school telling me i had just randomly qualified for a paid job internship.  They were going to give me $2,000 a month for three months to "make-my-own job."    It was a way for me to get my foot in the door somewhere.  I couldn't believe my luck. I called the place that hadn't hired me up and talked to the person who interviewed me.  I thought we had somewhat connected and turns out he hadn't hired me because of some stupid technicality.  He thought it was a great idea, and I had some sort of footing. 

Life has improved since then but it affirmed for me a powerful lesson: never let people know you are poor and desperate.  People hate losers and love to kick someone who's already down.  I don't know why, they just do.  So never let someone know you are down.  I remember when I was down to my last thousand I spent half of it on a very professional looking suit that would make me look better than other applicants.  I figured it was an investment -- it would make me look sharp. If I came in rags I would not get hired.  If people think you are poor, or shabby, or needy, they are not going to want to associate with you. It was a good choice, and today I still wear that suit whenever I need to look my best.

never let anybody know how poor you are, even if you are down to your last $50.  even if they knew, they are not going to help you anyway.  in fact, they are much more likely to help you if they think you don't need their help.
Seraph1m Seraph1m
26-30, M
11 Responses Aug 5, 2007

That's not true. I am currently in the situation you were in. I am homeless with a toddler and the only way I've been able to receive help is by speaking up and letting people know I need it.

The difference could lie i the fact that I am not pursuing jobs that would be impressed by a $500.00 suit. I. fact, that kind of clothing may make the places I'm applying feel as if I was "over-qualified".

Everyone's experience is different but if you are truly in need, speak up. People will help! Also pray and read your Bible. The best time to pursue spirituality is anytime, but especially when you're in "the trenches" as some may c all it.

king of spades-you have to live a few years more to meet the other side of life.There are a lot of kind and openhanded people. would you decline somebody who comes to you and asks for help???

I don't understand. I have been homeless with three children. %) bucks would have been a delight.!<br />
It was the kindness, created from letting someone know, the helped me. In turn, I will walk up hill all day in the rain to help ANYONE out if at all possible. I have opned my doors to more peole than I can remember. I see their faces, that is all.<br />
It is people who GENUINELY ASK, that will get help.

My own brothers don't even do that.<br />
<br />
(whining pathetically.)

Yes, that would be a great friend! Although my pride would prevent me from ever asking a friend to do that for me...not an especially favorable trait, perhaps.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I think I would be happy with the occasional phone call/email asking how I was doing.

I think a friend is someone who'll walk 20 miles in the pouring rain and spend their last 300 bucks to bail me out of jail! <br />
OK OK I think I might short on friends if that's the case!

Wise words, Puck61. I, too, believe that deep down people wish to be kind and giving as well. But I'll tell you something else I learned during that horribly rough time -- not one person I would have called my friend then (or today for that matter) came to my assistance. Not one of them asked me how I was doing or offered any aid to me. Every bit of kindness which came to me was given by relative strangers. <br />
<br />
Does that mean I need better friends? Haha, perhaps; but I always took it as a lesson in friendship itself. Friends can only go so far. The Almighty, when it gives assistance, works through those whom we never expect to receive sustenance.

I salute your fortitude!

There are a lot of people out there who perform random acts of kindness. I find for the most part, people are kind and caring. I spent a long time homeless and out of my mind, and even while I remained homeless, it was kindness that fed me, quenched my thirst, and kept me warm. When I came to my senses, it was kindness that gave me the opportunity to help myself up, and out of my madness. At the end of the day, I can thank someone else for every improvement my life has ever seen. As a matter of fact, I probably owe my life to the kindness of others.<br />
I do know that life is like a poker game, and someone has to be dealt that losing hand. That's why we should never let our hearts harden, no matter what kind of #### we've been through. It feels good to be kind and compassionate. If we could shake off our bitterness and perform as many random acts of kindness as we're able to, kindness could start spreading like a brush fire. We can't ever stop believing that. Every good thing that's ever happened for citizens of this planet, started with one person and an idea, and then another who believed in that person and the idea.

I believe that when things seem the worse that something always comes up to change it. I've been there and back and you just keep moving...

I don't care if my first impression is not to believe this really happened to you. But damn, the last parts really made me think. "they are much more likely to help you if they think you don't need their help" and really I think that's simply how life goes...