My Life

A few years ago, my mother abused me. She cussed at me, yelled at me, hit me, squeeze my arm to a point that I would have a bruise shaped as a hand. One day I was sick and still I bed. My mom was furious at me for not getting up and not getting ready for school. And after a while from just telling at me, she grabbed my arm and threw me on the floor from my bed. She kept yelling at me, telling me to get up. I just laid there, not looking at her. She grabbed my hair and pulled me up, then she let go of me and I hit my head on the floor. She kept yelling at me, telling me to get my *** up and ready to go to school. Telling me she thought I fainted and it was her way of trying to help me up off the floor. After a while I threatened her to go to the cops. I've ran away twice. It died down a bit, but all she does now is yell at me. She knows that once she lays a hand on me I'm calling the police. But by every way possible, she's trying to make my life hell. I found out that yelling at me makes her happiest, that it makes her feel in power. I have a note book that I've had for a while full of things my mom has done to abuse me. She forgets about me, and constantly keeps me on lock down. It's school then home. I've never done anything to her, but still, she makes it her job to ruin my life. A few years ago I tried contacting someone about her. I used to hide a knife under my mattress, but where it was easy enough to grab it in emergencies. I've had thoughts of suicide to get away from her. I've thought of cutting myself, but I've tried to stay strong. But it's gotten to a point where I can't handle her. I'm breaking. She's constantly making me cry and she's constantly emotionally abusing me. She hasn't physically abused me anymore, but emotional abuse hurts just as bad. It doesn't sound as bad as I say but there's things I can't speak of. I need help. I'm thinking of running away, to escape her grasp. Someone please help, I'm not her puppet that she can play with, or toss around. Thank you
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 20, 2013